


across the ocean to the second chance

by reylotrash711



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguments, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Devoted Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Devoted Reylo, Everything Went To Shit, Exes, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, Holiday, Love, No Pregnancy, Pool Sex, Rey Needs A Hug, Romance, Skinny Dipping, Smut, Summer, mild jealousy, one bed, slowish burn, they hate each other but actually they don't, they were engaged
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:34:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25250965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reylotrash711/pseuds/reylotrash711
Summary: They were in love. They broke up. He flew halfway across the world. She was left heartbroken. Nine months later their friends take a trip to Spain, ten days in the wonderful sun, and invite both of them. The only problem is, of course, they hate each other yet keep finding themselves drawn together by strange coincidences and accidents...Will their love grow again? Can Rey forgive Ben for everything he did? Or at the end of the summer will they part ways and never see each other again...
Relationships: Ben Solo/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Kylo Ren
Comments: 32
Kudos: 155
Collections: Summer Fic Exchange 2020





	1. the holiday

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GodspeedRebels](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GodspeedRebels/gifts).



> I loved writing your prompts (I have combined Skinny Dipping, Campfire AND Vacation Abroad) 
> 
> Hope you like it! 
> 
> From anon
> 
> P.S huge shout out to [Cecilia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceciliasheplin/works) for beta-reading this fic!

It was meant to be the best summer ever. An escape from her busy life in the city to a beautiful house in the heart of Spain, with the sun shining down on her and the company of her closest friends. After everything that had happened that year, Rey was looking forward to the ten-days getaway. So much had happened, so much had left her feeling small and broken. She needed this, a chance to relax and forget about everything that had left her so depressed for the best part of nine months. As much as she loved New York, her good job and cosy apartment, she was desperate for some fresh air where she could just _forget._

Everything was going perfectly. She had bought a new swimsuit, sunglasses and suitcase especially for the holiday, even let Rose convince her to pick out a few outfits. As she was making her final choices packing wise the night before her, Rose, Hux, Poe, Finn, Kaydel and Jannah were going to get on the plane to sunny Spain, she received some awful news. 

Poe rang her at exactly 9.34 pm with the terrible news. A certain someone had returned from their nine-month business trip to Japan and had got a ticket for their flight. How lucky was that? She hadn’t tried to protest, they were his friends too and he hadn’t seen them in months, it only made sense that he should join them so they had an opportunity to regroup. Rey briefly considered cancelling on her friends, claiming to be sick or have something work-related to get on with. But after a few angry and demanding texts from Finn and Rose, she decided she may as well get on with it. She didn’t have to talk to him, didn’t need to engage with him at all. They could both keep their distance and ignore each other. Rey wasn’t going to let him ruin her summer. 

She had successfully avoided him for most of the journey, thankfully their seats on the plane had been miles apart so Rey had barely seen him since they briefly met eyes at JFK before proceeding to avoid each other completely. It felt strange being in the same vicinity as him after so long, after so many months apart. She tried not to think about the last time they had been in the same room, the angry shouts and accusations still made her heart break at the thought. She told herself it wasn’t about him, because it definitely wasn’t, she simply mourned the years she had wasted with him, all the time she had been stuck in a dream. Waking up had been necessary, vital even. 

When they walked out of the airport and into the warm Spanish sun, Rey’s plans to avoid him had come violently crashing down. “Right... we have two cars, a seven-seater and a Twingo,” Poe announced to the group. 

“Why the hell did you hire a Twingo?” Hux asked with a sigh.

“Because, babe, they are cool.” Poe deadpanned, expression serious as he spoke.

“They are shit, Poe, they barely run.” 

“Well then you don’t have to go in it, do you?” Poe said with a sarcastic eye roll.

It was then established that only two people in the group could drive after the few too many drinks many of them, including Rey (she got nervous when flying), had on the plane. And of course, those two people had to be Jannah and _him._

Immediately most of the group called dibs seats in the seven-seater car, leaving him to drive the Twingo. “Wait, we can’t let him go alone.” Rose announced, “He doesn’t speak a word of Spanish, Rey, didn’t you say you knew some?” 

Rey shot her friend an icy glare, “Yes, I did.” she said through gritted teeth. 

Rose’s face lit up like a child on Christmas, “Great, you can follow us in the Twingo with Ben then.” Rey really was about to kill her best friend as she clambered out of the seven-seater and made her way over to where her ex-fiance was waiting next to the tiny car. 

“How long is it to the villa?” Rey asked, opening up the boot. 

“About an hour and a half,” said Hux, looking down at the satnav, “Give or take depending on the traffic.” Rey’s hand tightened around the handle of her suitcase. An hour and a half in a confined space with _Ben Solo._ She really hoped the ground would just open up and swallow her whole right here, it was a far better fate than the alternative. 

As the group all laughed and joked around, loading their bags into the car and passing around the giant Toblerone they had brought in the airport. Rey struggled to get a grip on her new suitcase, trying to lift the effing thing into the tiny boot. After a few moments of struggling, she saw two large and very familiar hands rest on the edge of the suitcase, “Here, let me.” came a deep and strong voice. 

Rey looked up at Ben, taking in his appearance, noticing how long his hair was, he must have let it grow when he was on his trip. Without a word, she stepped back and allowed him to put the bag into the boot. It irritated her a little, letting him help her. But it was much better than suffering in the boiling heat. Once her suitcase and his duffle bag were in the boot, Rey paused, staring at his bag. The last time she had seen it, she had thrown it at him. She shut the boot and hurried to the passenger seat, waving goodbye to her friends as they drove off, leading the way. 

Ben slid into the car beside her and started the engine of the tiny vehicle. He pulled out of the airport carpark, following the other car onto the motorway. They sat in silence, Ben staring out at the road as Rey stared out of the window, looking out at the beautiful scenery. 

For the first half-hour, it was tense and awkward, neither of them prepared to speak first and break the silence. 

Rey bit her nails nervously, making a mess of the recent manicure she had gotten with Rose the week before. She couldn’t think, could barely breathe. Reaching out to the radio, his hand knocked against hers, he must have had the same idea. “Sorry.” he murmured, pulling his hand away as Rey attempted to switch on the machine. But of course, in a car as old as this one, it didn’t work. She let out an irritated groan before pulling her phone out of her pocket and opening Spotify. 

She scrolled through her playlists, searching for something that would cause the least disagreements. Settling on one she hadn’t listened to in months, one that he had helped put together, she pressed play and rested her phone on the dashboard. 

“The road trip playlist?” Ben asked as _I’m Gonna Be_ by the Proclaimers filled the car.

Rey shrugged, “This way we don’t need to argue about what we put on next.” she said, looking back out of the window to avoid his curious glances.

“Oh, cool,” Ben answered before the Proclaimers took over. 

They only made it through two songs before Ben spoke again, “You changed your hair.” he commented. 

Her eyes moved to him, “So did you.” she replied.

Ben sighed, moving to run a hand through his raven locks, “I couldn’t find a Japanese hairdresser who could cut it as well as you could, so I left it.” he explained.

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.” 

_Don’t you forget about me_ began to play, Rey quickly skipped it, they didn’t need that now. “So, how have you been?” Ben asked. 

“Okay. You?”

“Fine.”

Rey sighed, resting her elbow on the door and her head against her hand, this was worse than she thought. Although she supposed it was better than a screaming match. May as well make awkward small talk for the next hour than nothing. “Where did Poe find this villa?” Ben asked, seemingly trying to steer the conversation away from themselves. 

“A friend of his parents own it, apparently they owed Poe a favour which is never a good sign. He decided we all need a break this summer.” Rey explained as they turned onto the country roads, following behind what Rey was fairly certain was a party in the other car. 

“Ah nice, you seen any pictures?”

Rey nodded, “Yes, it’s very beautiful, did Poe not show you any?” 

Ben shook his head, “No, he must have forgotten.” he said. 

“Well, then I guess you will see it soon enough,” said Rey.

Ben nodded, “Yeah, guess it will be fun.”

“Yeah, a nice getaway.” 

Silence fell over them once again and Rey refused to look at him anymore, instead opting to lean against the window and close her eyes and allow sleep to take over as they made their way to the Spanish countryside. 

-☀️-

Ben was thankful for the silence between them, it made things easier. He wasn’t ready to face the past just yet, to talk about what had happened that night. He tried his best to refrain from glancing at her sleeping as he drove, but she had always looked so beautiful when she did. His grip on the wheel tightened as he tried to get a hold of himself. She wasn’t his anymore, just as he was no longer hers, that ship had sailed. 

This holiday had been last minute, a lucky ticket, an escape before he had to go back to the hell that was his job. Poe had offered it to him as soon as he had told him that he had arrived back from Japan to a half-empty and lonely apartment. Ben hated it. The apartment that had once been home was merely a cold space where memories haunted him around every corner. When Poe said the tickets were dotted around the plane and they wouldn’t all be seated together, Ben had been thankful, he wasn’t ready to face Rey just yet. 

And then he was thrown straight into the deep end so here they were in a cramped car together as Rey stirred in her sleep, slowly waking up after her half-hour nap. They were passing villas and houses now, Ben looked out the window at the people enjoying the beautiful weather. His gaze flickered to Rey who was looking in awe at the lush trees and flowers. A small smile quirked his lips, she loved greenery. 

The other car came to a stop before turning onto a driveway that led up to the most beautiful house Ben had ever seen. The Twingo made its way up, coming to a stop beside the other car. Rey immediately undid her seatbelt, retrieved her phone from the dashboard and hopped out the car before Ben had even had the chance to turn the engine off. He sighed, he supposed this was their new normal, actively avoiding each other until they were forced to communicate. He was fine with that, it made everything easier. 

“Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to paradise!” Poe exclaimed, stretching out his arms and spinning around in the golden rays of the sun. Ben rolled his eyes, pulling his and Rey’s bags out of the boot, placing her suitcase down next to her before walking straight passed her. 

“So where’s everyone sleeping?” Kaydel asked as they entered the breathtaking house. Ben looked around in awe, the interior was just as stunning as the outside. 

“Well let’s see, there are four bedrooms,” Poe’s eyes flickered to Ben and Rey, “You guys don’t mind sharing, do you?” 

Of course. Just brilliant. Everyone other than he and Rey was in a relationship, of course, they would end up in a room together. “Surely there is a sofa I could sleep on?” Ben asked. 

Poe shrugged, “Maybe, but you may as well put your bags in one place.”

Ben’s gaze flickered to Rey who was staring daggers at Poe, “Fine.” she said through gritted teeth, “But we get the master bedroom.”

“Fair enough,” Poe said, “Sorry about this guys, Ben coming was so last minute that we didn’t really plan ahead.” 

“Will you guys be alright?” Rose asked.

Ben felt his cheeks heat up. They were adults, they could be mature of this. A sarcastic smile spread across Rey’s face, “Of course, and I don’t mind sleeping on the sofa. We are all adults here.” With that she sauntered away, Poe leading her up to the master bedroom on the top floor. 

With a sigh, Ben scooped up his bag, feeling a nudge on his shoulder, “You alright?” came Finn’s voice. 

Ben shrugged, “As alright as I can be, very jet lagged and feel like running for the hills.” he said evenly. 

“I’m sorry, dude, you know what Poe’s like, lives for the drama.” 

“This isn’t petty high school shit,” Ben said grumpily, “Rey fucking hates me, it’s not fair to put her through this.”

Finn sighed, following him up the staircase, “She doesn’t hate you.” he said, “She could never hate you, Ben.” 

“She should,” Ben replied bitterly. 

“Yeah, she should, you broke her heart and if she hasn’t forgiven you then I certainly haven’t,” Finn said firmly.

Ben paused, turning to his friend. Finn and Rey had been together since they were teenagers, always had each other’s backs when they were stuck in the system. They were like brother and sister, Ben wasn’t surprised Finn hadn’t forgiven him. “But it’s been nine months and for now I will put it in the past. But you have to understand, Ben, these last nine months have been fucking difficult for Rey, let her enjoy the summer, she needs it.”

He nodded in understanding, “I will, I know.” he said slowly, “I just hope she doesn’t kill me in my sleep.”

“You and me both, I know she’ll come to me first to help bury the body.”

Ben chuckled at that, clapping his friend on the back before walking up the final few steps to the top floor where a single door greeted him. Taking a deep breath and steeling himself, he opened it, stepping into the bright and spacious room. Rey was unpacking her suitcase, dotting the familiar pieces of clutter around the room and hanging her dresses and clothes in the wardrobe on the left side of the room. She didn’t acknowledge his presence as he stepped inside, simply continued to go about her business.

Ben closed the door, moving to the right side of the room and placing his duffle bag on the wooden dresser. Opening it up, he began to unpack the very few things that made their way from his Japan bags into this one. A couple of clothes, washbag, swimming trunks and a few personal items he kept right at the bottom, out of sight. They moved about the room in silence, avoiding each other completely despite the fact they were in the same room. 

Much to their relief, there was a sofa in the room, it was small but Ben guessed he would just about fit on it. As he began to unpack his stuff onto it and search the wardrobe for some spare sheets, Rey broke the silence. “So, you cool with this?” she asked almost casually. 

Ben shrugged, “Yeah, it’s fine, only for a few nights.” he said, dumping a pile of blankets on the sofa. He doubted he would even need them considering how hot it was. Rey nodded in agreement, “I usually get up early these days, I won’t disturb your lie-ins.” she said. 

It hurt to hear her say something so familiar, it was like they knew each other, like they hadn’t become strangers over the last nine months. Ben ran a hand through his hair, “Well, I usually get up early too but with the jetlag, I think everyone will be asleep till noon.” 

“You still on Japanese time?” Rey asked casually. 

“Yeah, it’s not too bad though, I suppose if we all drink enough we will fall asleep pretty quickly.”

Silence came upon them again and they stood on opposite sides of the room to each other, neither of them quite sure what to say. Thankfully, the bedroom door opened and Kaydel stuck her head in, “Hey guys, everyone is going down to the pool before heading into town.” 

Rey’s face lit up, “Sounds good.” she said, fishing a swimsuit out of her suitcase, “I’ll go change in the downstairs bathroom.” 

Kaydel hurried away and Rey made her way to the door, reaching forward, he held onto her arm and she froze. “Can we talk?” he asked, looking into her eyes. 

Rey’s expression hardened and she glared at him, pulling her arm away from him, “We have nothing to talk about.” she said through gritted teeth.

“We have everything to talk about!” 

“No, we don’t, Ben!” Rey exclaimed, “There is nothing you can say now that will make things any better.” 

“There is so much I need to tell you.” he said in earnest, “Please, Rey, let’s at least try and be friends.” 

Rey stepped away from him, “I can’t. I don’t care about the excuses you have no doubt rehearsed.” 

“For fuck sake, Rey, please just listen to me!” he exclaimed.

“NO! You had your chance and you walked away! I fucking hate you, Ben Solo!” Rey shouted. 

Ben stumbled back, her words cutting him like a knife. Rey stood breathing heavily, her eyes shining with unshed tears, “Sorry.” she murmured, “I shouldn’t shout like that.”

“You should.” her gaze flickered up to him, “I deserve it.”

Rey sighed, brushing her hair away from her face the way she did when she was nervous, “Let’s just get through this holiday, then we never have to see each other again.” 

“If that’s what you want,” Ben said slowly.

Rey nodded, “Yes. It is.” She turned away, leaving the room and rushing down the staircase leaving Ben alone. 

He felt his heart pounding furiously against his chest, his anxiety bubbling away as he tried to steady his breathing. Distraction. He needed a distraction. Taking his trunks from his bag, he moved into the room’s bathroom and locked the door behind him. 

Standing in front of the mirror, he pulled off his shirt and frowned as it revealed the chain he wore around his neck with the small engagement ring resting above his heart. Reaching up, he pressed his hand against the diamond ring, he had worn it every day around his neck for nine months, a constant reminder of what he had lost because of his own stupid mistakes. Slowly, he pulled it off and tucked it in his wallet, he would put it back on after swimming, he didn’t want anyone to see it. 

It felt almost painful to remove it. It was the small part of her that was always with him, he felt lost without it, he felt lost without _her._

-☀️-

She pushed everything to the back of her mind, focusing instead on having fun with her friends as they mucked around in the wonderful swimming pool. The chicken fights were reckless and silly with Finn ending up on her shoulders and Poe on Rose’s as they tried to push each other off. Of course, it all ended with them all falling, slipping in the water before bursting out laughing. Rey looked around at her friends, thinking again how lucky she was to have them all. Finn and Poe were racing across the pool, both equally competitive but teaming up when Jannah got in and beat them with ease. Kaydel and Rose sat with their feet in the pool, gossiping and taking ridiculous selfies. And Hux, well Hux was having an in-depth with Ben as the pair sat on the sunloungers. Probably about work. It was always about work with Ben. He didn’t have the time to talk about anything else. 

She made her way across the pool, pushing herself out and sitting beside Rose and Kaydel. “So Rey, how are you doing?” Kaydel asked, wiggling her eyebrows at her. 

“You’re all assholes,” Rey muttered, squeezing the water from her hair. 

Kaydel and Rose laughed, “No, we are not.” Rose said firmly, “This is good for you Rey, gives you and Ben a chance to reconcile, maybe even rekindle that romance.”

“How much alcohol have you consumed, Rose? Because you are out of your damn mind.” Rey said with a cold glare. 

“You’re only saying that because I’m right,” Rose said with a sly smirk. 

Rey got to her feet, “You are not. Ben Solo is the last man in the world I would ever fall for… again.” she stormed away, refusing to listen to any response her friends may have as she scooped up her towel, wrapping it around herself as she sat down on one of the lounge chairs, shivering slightly. Rose and Kaydel didn’t know what they were talking about, she wasn’t the person she was nine months ago. She had changed and moved on, she could proudly say she had zero feelings for the man she had once called her fiancee and she had no doubt that Ben felt the same way. 

There was no point talking about the past now, the best thing they could do now was try and be civil towards each other. Her outburst when leaving the room had been a brief lapse in judgement, months of anger boiling over in a very childish manner. Now she had a chance to cool down, she was ready to avoid him until she never had to see him again. They were past the point of reconciling. As Taylor Swift said, we are never ever ever getting back together. 

Pulling out her book, Rey sat back in the lounge chair. Just as she was relaxing, settling into her book, a shadow cast over her reading light and Ben sat down on the chair next to her. “What’s wrong?” he asked. 

Rey looked up at him, “What?” 

“You always read Pride & Prejudice when you’re upset about something,” he answered, gesturing to the worn copy she had thrown into her bag last minute. Shutting the book, Rey sighed and swivelled around so she was opposite him. Her eyes looked down to the pool where everyone was playing volleyball, seemingly oblivious to her and Ben. Rey very much doubted that they were ignoring them, they were always trying to get involved with drama, _especially_ Poe. 

“You don’t need to pretend you care, Ben.” Rey said with a sigh.

“Of course I care.” Ben said gently. 

“Really?”

“Really.”

Rey’s gaze hardened and she bit her tongue, she hated it when people lied, even more, when they pretended to be sympathetic or pity her. Even when it was in earnest she was irritated, she didn’t need people’s pity, she had got through most of her life with only herself to rely on. She had gotten through the last nine months doing exactly that... and maybe the occasional ice cream top-up from Rose or the movie nights with Finn when she was particularly down, Hux had even taken her to a museum for the day. Yes, she didn’t need a fiancee or even a husband when she had her friends who loved and cared about her. 

Ben had disappeared for nine months. Sure, they had broken up, but he didn’t even care to text or call. He had just gone. 

“If you cared you wouldn’t have been silent for nine months, even if it was just to make sure I had moved my stuff out or returned your key,” she said cooly. 

“You weren’t exactly sending friendly phone calls either.” Ben threw back. 

“I left a voicemail!”

“To say you were leaving me completely and never wanted to hear from me again! What was I meant to say to that, Rey?” Ben exclaimed. 

The group had stopped playing now, their eyes flickering to the bickering pair. 

“But you don’t just leave someone unanswered! Maybe just a ‘k great, bye!’” she suggested.

“You can’t decide if you wanted me to or not! Make up your mind, Rey, because you can’t have it both ways!” They were shouting at each other now. 

“Fine. No, I didn’t want you to call, I was just being polite, which is more than you can say.”

“I was giving you the space you asked for!”

“Whatever!”

“I can’t believe I came on this holiday,” Ben said, putting his head in his hands. 

“That makes two of us! Maybe you could do everyone a favour and drive back in the tiny car to the airport and fuck off back to Japan!” 

“Why should I leave?”

“Because I was here first!”

“Actually my seat was in front of yours on the plane, I think I stepped onto Spanish soil first.” Ben taunted, being especially irritating now. Rey felt her anger rise and she clenched her fists at her side, shooting daggers at the infuriating man.

“I can’t believe I ever went out with you, let alone agree to marry you.” she spat, getting to her feet. 

“Well, it’s a good thing you didn’t. Instead, you ran away just as things got hard.” 

People were slowly getting out of the pool now, taking their towels and watching with plaintive expressions across their faces as their friends screaming at each other. 

“Got hard? You moved to fucking Japan, Ben! And expected me to follow!”

“That’s what people do for the people they love! They make sacrifices!”

“Sacrifices? You wanted me to leave my job and start a whole new life after I had worked so hard.” Rey retorted, looking up at him as he towered over her. She hated how tall he was. 

She crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head, “I could never love anyone who would ask me to do that.” she said, lowering her voice as her anger dissipated and was replaced with a sad feeling in her chest. Their friends were walking back inside, leaving her and Ben alone as they stood a few metres away from each other, glaring. 

“The feeling is mutual, I could never love someone who wouldn’t wait for me,” he said in return. 

She steeled herself, already on the edge of breaking down, “You are the last man in the world I could ever love.” she said slowly, watching as his expression softened slightly, face falling. 

They froze, breathing heavily as Ben leaned slightly closer. For a moment she thought Ben was going to kiss her. For a moment she thought she was going to let him. Instead, he spoke, “So this is what you think of me? Thank you for explaining so fully.” His tone was harsh and he turned away, storming away from the pool and into the house where their friends were huddled around the kitchen island. 

Rey released a breath she hadn’t realised she had been holding, leaning back against a parasol. She struggled to regain her composure, hurriedly wiping away the stray tears that had fallen. Footsteps came up behind her and she felt a pair of familiar arms wrap around her. “I thought you didn’t like hugs.” 

“You’re a special case, Rey Niima.” said Hux, “You looked like you needed a hug.”

She turned, wrapping her arms around her friend’s torso, “Thank you.” she said gently, “I did need this.”

“Come on, Niima, let’s go and get you good and drunk,” Hux said, leading her back to the house. 

Rey chuckled, “I like the sound of that.”

“Great because Poe is already twatted and I don’t feel like babysitting tonight.”

Rey let out another laugh, smiling up at her friend, it felt good to laugh. It masked the immense sadness she felt in her heart, “Make him sleep on the sofa, that’s what I have done.”

“Good idea, Niima, don’t let Solo get to you.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t,” she assured Hux and herself. She would not let Ben Solo get to her. Definitely not...


	2. apologies & forgivness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Mind if I join you?” she asked timidly. Ben turned, his eyes visibly widening as he took in the sight of her in the tiny bikini. “S-sure.”
> 
> \--
> 
> Things begin to heat up between our pair 👀

After the eventful first day, the ones that followed were surprisingly easy for Ben to deal with. He and Rey barely breathed a word to each other, actively and successfully avoiding each other. Each night he went to bed first, making sure to pretend to be asleep before Rey came upstairs to head to bed. It would be hours later before he heard her quiet snores, it seemed she was having trouble sleeping too.

Day and night he wore the engagement ring around his neck, regretting everything he had said to her by the pool. She would never forgive him now. As usual, he had fucked everything up. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness. He was a monster. 

Three days after their explosive argument, he sat in between Rose and Jannah (who was, in fact, his not quite related cousin) outside a famous Spanish church. “You fucked up,” Jannah stated, licking her ice cream.

“Yeah, no shit, he ran off to live on the other side of the world.” Rose agreed, devouring her own ice cream.

“Surprisingly this isn’t helping.” Ben murmured.

“It’s obvious what you have to do.” said Kaydel, sitting down in Jannah’s lap and stealing some of her girlfriend’s ice cream, “You need to sweep her off her feet and declare your undying love.”

Ben turned to her, raising an eyebrow, “Seriously, Kay? I don’t think that will help the situation. She will probably just hate me more.” he sighed, shaking his head, “I hurt her, I promised I would never abandon her and I did exactly that.” 

“Ben, I am going to be honest with you.” Jannah said, handing Kaydel her ice cream and turning to him, “When you left, Rey was fucking heartbroken. She didn’t leave her bed for days, constantly calling into work sick until they threatened to fire her. You broke her and it took her weeks to even smile again. She has every reason to be mad and hate you.” she pulled Kaydel off her lap and got to her feet, gesturing for Ben to follow so they were out of earshot of the others. “Unlike the others, I’m going to be realistic. Rey may never take you back, you may never get back together. But you both need closure and that will come with you apologising to her so you can both move on.” 

Ben nodded slowly in understanding, “I guess it is the least I can do.” he said slowly.

Jannah gave him a small smile, “Do the right thing, Ben, it’s the only thing you can do now.” She wrapped her arms around him, giving him a comforting hug that Ben was fairly certain he didn’t deserve. 

They broke away when they heard Poe’s tour guide instructions. Rolling his eyes, he swung an arm around Jannah’s shoulders and joined the rest of the group. 

That night, they all went to a tapas restaurant only a ten-minute walk from the villa. Of course, because everyone else wants to sit opposite their significant other, Ben found himself once again with Rey. He supposed it was better than sitting next to her though. 

Once the friendly waiter had taken their order, discussions broke out amongst the group ranging from fashion with Poe to business management with Jannah. Rey was oddly quiet, as was Ben. The only other time they had been close was when they were in their bedroom. Even then it was only for a brief few moments where they could turn away and ignore each other. Not like how they sat opposite one another now, both with nothing to say. 

Now was his chance, whilst everyone else was distracted, he could talk to her properly. “Rey,” 

Her gaze flickered up to him, “Yes.” she said slowly.

“I wanted to apologise for my behaviour the other day, I said some things I really didn’t mean and shouldn’t have shouted at you in the way I did.” he began, biting his lips and fidgeting with his hands on the table, “I don’t expect you to do the same, you have every reason to be angry with me.” 

“I do.” said Rey, “But like you, I shouldn’t have shouted. We are both adults, we can have mature and grown-up discussions.” 

Ben nodded in agreement, taking a shaking breath. God he was so anxious, “We just need to get through this trip and then w-we can go our separate ways. My uncle needs help on his ranch so I’ll be moving away from the city when we get back.” 

“Oh, you made amends with your uncle?”

Ben cringed, “Not exactly, mom asked me to.”

A small smile broke across Rey’s face, one that made him relax slightly, “I always did like your mum.” 

“Y-yeah, me too.” Ben stuttered. 

Rey narrowed her eyes at him, “You’re anxious.” she said. His eyes darted to meet her own as she continued, “Have you been taking your meds?”

Ben shook his head and Rey’s face fell, “I ran out. When I got back to New York I was too afraid to go alone to get them because-”

“Because we always used to get them together.” she finished. 

Ben nodded slowly and was startled when Rey reached out across the table, placing her hand over his, “Then before you leave New York, I will go with you to pick them up.” she said with a small smile. 

Ben mirrored her expression, nodding slowly, “Thank you, Rey.” 

She shrugged, “It’s no trouble, I just want you to feel safe, I know how much you struggle.” 

After that they sat in comfortable conversation, avoiding personal topics and joining in with their friends discussing the villa and the places they had visited. He watched Rey with admiration as she animatedly discussed the cathedrals and monuments with Hux. His mind drifted to the postcard collection she had kept in their living room, images of all the places they had been together, all lined up on the shelves or stuck to the wall with blue tack in a collage. Reaching into his bag he pulled out the postcard he had brought in the cathedral shop earlier that day, he passed it across the table to her. 

“You remembered?” she said, looking down at the image. 

“Of course I did, call it a present to say I’m sorry.” 

Rey nodded slowly, running her fingers along the edge of the card, “Thank you.” she whispered before tucking it into her bag. 

Shortly afterwards, their food arrived and was served by a tall blond Spanish man who looked to be their age. He winked as he gave Rey her food, Ben’s grip on his knife tightened as she blushed. The waiter’s hand rested against the table as he leant closer to Rey, “I must say, miss, you have a lovely smile, what is your name?” he asked with a handsome smile that made Ben want to jab his knife into the man’s hand. 

“Rey.” 

“Ah Rey, like a ray of sunshine.” 

Rey let out a giggle and Ben prayed the floor would open up and swallow him whole. Thankfully, the waiter was called away who once again winked at Rey before heading back to the kitchen. For the rest of the meal, Ben was in a sour mood plotting a way to punch the man in the face without looking like some kind of crazy person. 

He stared down at his food, avoiding any looks he may receive from Rey. It was another reminder that she was no longer his. That she could flirt with whoever she wanted, kiss whoever she wanted, fuck whoever she wanted. It had been nine months, he shouldn’t care. He should only care about apologising properly and maybe even building a friendship with her. But seeing her engage in such a way with someone else made him feel cold, sick to his stomach. 

When they had split the bill and the waiters gave them back their light coats, the same blasted waiter approached Rey, helping her to put on her purple cardigan. As he moved to the door, Ben overheard their conversation, “I’m sorry if this sounds forward, but could I perhaps have your number, I’m sure you could come back here before you leave.” he said suggestively. 

“Oh, I-” Rey paused when her gaze flickered to Ben as she stumbled over her words. Gritting his teeth, Ben turned and pulled open the door, before storming out into the night. 

“Ben, we were going to go to a bar!” Poe called after him. 

“Not feeling it, I’ll see you at home,” Ben shouted back over his shoulder, taking long strides along the gravel street as he made his way back to the villa. He needed to be alone now. 

-☀️-

Rey sat in the Spanish Bar with her friends, slowly sipping her lemonade. Around her, her friends chatted happily. They all sat beside their partner, exchanging amorous glances and frequent kisses. It made feel Rey disconnected from the group, like part of her was missing. Ben had stormed out in a right mood. The rowdy noises of the bar didn’t help to distract her. Without even finishing her drink she got up and announced she was heading back early, just to check he was alright because… well because it’s what nice people did and she liked to think she was a nice person. And besides, Ben was… well, not quite a friend but she didn’t hate him. He would probably have head to bed anyway so she may as well go and chill out with her book before everyone else stumbled in utterly wasted. 

Rey had never been much of a drinker, not after what happened with her parents. They were alcoholics who left her on the doorstep of a church at the age of five because they couldn’t be asked to look after her anymore. It was probably for the best. When she was 19 she had spent months trying to find them, only to discover they had been found dead in their apartment shortly after they abandoned her. She tried not to dwell on her past too much, the future was always a far more hopeful thing to think about. 

It was one of the reasons she clicked with Ben. He didn’t drink much either so they often found themselves the only two sober people at parties, always the designated driver who had to drag their friends home. She found herself looking forward to hanging out with her friends just so she could spend time with Ben, so they could have those deep conversations whilst their friends got twatted and acted like pratts. 

With a tired sigh, Rey opened the front door and contemplated relaxing in the hot tub before everyone got back. With that thought in mind, she crept up to her and Ben’s room, only to see that there was no one lying on the sofa. Wondering where Ben had gotten to, she threw on her bikini and made her way to the patio. To her surprise, there he was, sitting alone in the hottub and staring up at the stars. 

“Mind if I join you?” she asked timidly. Ben turned, his eyes visibly widening as he took in the sight of her in the tiny bikini. “S-sure.” Rey blushed before slowly walking around and climbing in opposite him, sinking into the bubbles

They sat in silence, looking up at the night sky in awe, it was so beautiful. “So, didn’t feel like sticking around with that waiter then?” said Ben. 

Rey looked to him, shaking her head, “Of course not, he was making me uncomfortable and I’m not one for hookups.” she said quietly. 

“Oh.” Ben breathed. 

“What did you think I was going to do? Let him fuck me after only knowing me for about an hour? I’m not Poe.” she snapped, angry that he had assumed to know what she wanted. Part of her considered jumping out of the hot tub and going back to that restaurant just to prove him wrong. She didn’t, she really wasn’t a fan of one-night stands. 

“Well, no, I just thought that you would give him your number to like chat.” Ben said slowly, his cheeks turning crimson as he spoke, “Or is there someone else back in New York waiting for you?”

The way he had casually asked her if she was single made Rey shudder slightly, even in the heat of the tub. “No. No, there hasn’t been anyone for a while,” she said, looking down at the bubbles. 

“For nine months?”

“Yeah,” she admitted. It hadn’t felt right to be intimate with anyone else, not after everything she had been through with Ben, she had never felt ready. It felt like giving away something precious, which she supposed it was. Ben was her first and when he proposed to her she thought he would be her last. 

“Same.” his answer caught her off guard and made traitorous hope bloom beneath her chest, made her heart flutter slightly. She knew she had been his first too.

She couldn’t think like this, she shouldn’t think like this. Anger quickly replaced the hope in her chest and Rey’s expression hardened and she looked up at him, “Let me guess, you were too busy with work and didn’t have the time?”

Ben gritted his teeth, “No. It just didn’t feel right.” he said firmly. 

Rey sighed, hands playing with the strap of her bikini, “Sorry. Just assumed that you would move on, find someone who… well, you know.” 

“What?” Ben asked. 

She shrugged, “I don’t know.” 

“Look, Rey, let’s not go down this path, there’s no point getting into this stuff. I know you wish you had never gone out with me, that being with me had been a waste of time-”

“Don’t say that.” she cut across, her voice barely a whisper. 

Ben’s face softened and his mouth formed an ‘o’ shape as silence fell over them and they simply stared at each other, gazing into each other’s eyes with equally gentle and plaintive expressions. Rey reached forward, moving a hand to his tense brow. Gently, she brushed her fingers across it and he immediately relaxed. Just as she began to lean closer, the sound of the patio doors opening filled their ears and she hurriedly pulled away as Poe’s loud voice approached, “Room for a small one?” he asked, whipping off his shirt and jeans before climbing in and sitting down next to Ben who looked oddly starstruck. 

“Poe!” Rey exclaimed, “Put your trunks on for god’s sake.”

“Why? Pants are basically just speedos,” he argued.

Rey rolled her eyes as everyone clambered into the tub, all thankfully in their swimsuits. Laughter and chatter broke out amongst them and Poe passed around a couple of beers. Rey found herself unable to focus, her gaze constantly moving to Ben who each time seemed to turn at just the right moment so their eyes would meet before they both hurriedly averted their gazes. 

At midnight, Ben climbed out of the hot tub, announcing he was off to bed. Rey watched as he walked away, towel around his shoulders as he pulled open the patio doors. He turned, catching her eye and offering her a shy smile before disappearing inside. Finn and Rose followed shortly afterwards and after failing to convince Poe to come to bed, Hux headed off too. 

Rey felt an overwhelming sadness bloom in her chest, the same that had been a constant companion for the majority of the last nine months. Taking a deep breath, she nudged Poe, “Give me a beer.” she said stretching out her hand. 

“But you don’t like-”

“Just give me a goddamn beer, Poe.” 

Her friend hurried to oblige and Rey took a swig of the Spanish beer, letting the alcohol move through her body, pleasantly numbing the feeling in her chest. She joined in the rowdy conversation with Kaydel, Jannah and Poe who mostly discussed sport and booze until things took a more gossipy and personal turn. 

“Okay, never have I ever done it somewhere I shouldn’t have,” said Kaydel with a girlish giggle. 

Everyone in the group drank. They burst out laughing. “Really, Rey? Didn’t think you were the adventurous type.” Jannah said, wiggling her eyebrows.

Rey shrugged, “Yeah, well Ben was having a tough day at work.” 

Poe spat out his drink over the edge of the tub, “Are you telling me you got dicked down on Ben Solo’s desk?” he asked, eyes wide. 

Rey bit her lip, briefly recalling the event before winking at Poe, “Maybe.” more laughter erupted from the group. 

“Okay okay, my turn!” Jannah announced, “Never have I ever sent a dirty text to someone I shouldn’t have.”

Poe drank. Rey rolled her eyes, “Of course you have, Poe, that isn’t a surprise to anyone.” she said. 

Poe simply shrugged and said, “What? Amylin Holdo is a very attractive woman and tequila is a very powerful thing.” 

“She rejected you didn’t she?” said Rey, 

Poe sighed, “Yeah, she did…” he said before taking another swig. 

“Your turn, Rey.” said Kaydel. 

Rey let out an exasperated sound, “Aghh I don’t know! Umm… never have I ever stalked an ex’s new partner on social media.”

“Ahhh boo!”

“Sorry, no thank you.”

“Boring! Everyone has done that.” said Poe, “Let me think of a better one, Rey you are crap at this game and have forfeited your go.” 

Rey chuckled, taking a swig and emptying what she was fairly certain was only her third beer. “Never have I ever been in love with my ex.” 

Kaydel drank. Rey frowned when she saw her bottle was empty and she wasn’t about to cheat. 

“Gimme another beer Poe, in fact, make that two.” 

Poe obliged, handing Rey the bottles and she took a large swig from one. “Spill the tea then, Kayel.” Rey said, blindly gesturing to her friend as she continued to drink. 

“Oh just this girl I dated in senior year, I thought I was in love but it was nothing major.”

“Aww, how heartwarming,” said Poe, touching his heart, “It’s a shame that no one cares because the person we actually want to hear about is Rey.” he continued, turning to Rey as Kaydel splashed him. 

Rey giggled, “You want to know about meeeee?” she asked. 

“Yes, Rey we want to know about youuuuuu.” Poe answered.

“Okay well,” Rey said, finishing the first beer and promptly moving to the second, “Well he is very understanding ummm gentle and uh tall.” she said, raising her bottle in the air before taking a swig. 

Jannah made a mock gasp of surprise, “Oh my god, Rey, I think I know him, does he happen to be my cousin?”

“Yes! You know him too! I love him Jannah, I really really love him.” 

-☀️-

Ben lay on the uncomfortable sofa, holding the chain that held the engagement ring as he moved said ring between his fingers, watching as the diamond caught the moonlight shining through the curtains. He remembered how perfect it had looked on Rey’s finger, how incredibly right it had felt to give it to Rey, to slip it onto her finger and promise to one day call her his wife. A promise he had broken. A promise he thought about every single day. 

Dropping his hands, he pressed his lips to the ring, a small sob escaping him as he reflected on everything he had lost. He had done this so many times, his time in Japan had felt so lonely, only work to keep him occupied. But more often than not, his thoughts had strayed to Rey. He yearned for her, her smile, her laughter and her touch. From the moment he had met her, Rey had been the one, there had been no doubt in his mind. Their first kiss had been magical, the first time they had been intimate had been indescribable. Nothing could have prepared him for Rey, storming into his life unannounced and turning his world upside down. She deserved so much better than him, maybe it was a good thing she had been able to turn away. 

No. He knew he should have tried harder. Ultimately it had been his job that had torn them apart, in particular, his rather demanding and in Rey’s word’s manipulating boss, Snoke. The business trip to Japan meant a promotion, a promotion meant money and money meant a brighter and more secure future for him and Rey. At least, that is how Ben had seen it. 

Rey hadn’t liked it, insisting that Snoke was using him resulting in an explosive argument on both sides. What followed was the slamming of the front door and Rey pushing the engagement ring back through the letterbox. 

The image had broken his heart and Ben had hurriedly packed his stuff, left a note for Rey on the kitchen counter and taken the first flight to Japan. 

He would regret it for the rest of his life. 

And here he was, lying on a sofa waiting for when Rey would come up to bed and sleep only a few feet away from him. He covered his face with his hands, letting out a groan, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could do this for, this charade of trying to act like everything was okay when the reality was that he was extremely close to screaming at Rey about how much he still loved her. But Jannah was right, the best thing he could do now tried and make amends and maybe even be friends. He couldn’t let himself run away with the idea that he and Rey still had a chance to be together when the reality was that she had probably moved on and looking forward to never having to see him again. 

Closing his eyes, he prepared to fall asleep when there was a sudden thump against the door. Pulling back the blanket, Ben hopped off the sofa and hurried to the door, making sure to tuck the ring back inside his shirt. 

He opened the door only to see Rey sitting down, leaning against the door frame soaking wet. “Rey?”

“Ben!” she responded gleefully.

Great. She was utterly pissed. Just great. With a tired sigh, he offered Rey his hand and she stumbled to her feet, clad only in her tiny bikini that made Ben feel slightly awkward guiding his ex into a bedroom with so few clothes on. 

“You need to get your pyjamas on.” He said sitting her down on a chair in the corner of her room before moving to the wardrobe. He opened it and pulled out the familiar red bottoms and to his surprise the same t-shirt she had worn to bed when they were together, his old Nirvana shirt. Trying not to think about it, he handed Rey the clothes. 

“Do I have to?” she whined.

“Yes, Rey, you do.” he said. 

Rey frowned, “Don’t you like my swimming costume, Ben?” she asked. 

Ben froze, fairly certain his cheeks had turned crimson. “Oh no, I-I think it’s great.” he stammered, “Looks really nice on you.”

Rey grinned from ear to ear, “Ben that’s so sweet.”

He let out a tired sigh, he had always loved drunk Rey, she tended to be very humorous and extra smiley. “As lovely as it is, Rey, it is soaking wet and you need to go to bed.”

“Do you know what else is soaking-”

“No! Don’t want to know!” Ben exclaimed as Rey burst out laughing. “God, how many beers did Poe let you have.

“I don’t know, maybe only like four?” Rey said, holding up five fingers. Great. More than Rey could count at least. Taking her hand and the clothes, he led her into the bathroom.

“Okay, I am going to wait here and you are going to put your pyjamas on,” he said. Rey nodded and he closed the door, giving her privacy. This had been a lot easier when they were together and he had been able to help Rey on the rare occasions she had gotten drunk. Such things wouldn’t be appropriate now. 

Once Rey had changed, she opened the bathroom door and sauntered into the room, wobbling as she walked, Ben followed, ready to catch her if she fell. Unsurprisingly, she stumbled a few times as she made her way to the bed so he gripped her hand until she was seated on the bed. “I’m just going to grab you a drink,” he said, stepping away.

“Oh, Ben, don’t leave!” Rey said, pouting with wide eyes. 

“There are plastic cups in the bathroom, Rey, I will be gone a couple of seconds.” he insisted. Rey reluctantly let him go and he filled up a cup of water in the bathroom before putting Rey’s wet swimsuit on the radiator to dry. When he came back into the room, He sat down on the bed next to Rey, handing her the water which she gladly gulped down before chucking the cup over her shoulder. Having already anticipated her move, Ben caught it and placed it down on the bedside table.

He sat beside Rey and she gave him a big goofy smile, leaning forward and resting her head on his shoulder. “Bennnnnnn?” she said.

“Yes, Rey?” he asked slowly, looking down at her as her hand slowly crept across the sheets towards him. He inhaled sharply as Rey rested her palm on his knee. 

“Do you like me?”

“Of course I do.”

“No! I mean do you  _ like  _ me?” Rey asked, raising a cheeky and suggestive eyebrow. 

Ben froze, opening his mouth only for no words to come out. There was a good chance Rey wouldn’t remember any of this in the morning and he so desperately wanted to tell her. But not now, when he told her-  _ if  _ he told her, they would both be sober and in a less awkward predicament. 

Turning away from Rey, he broke eye contact, “I think we should go to bed.” he said firmly. Rey froze, pulling away from him and looking rather sober all of a sudden as if he had snapped her out of a daze. 

He got off the bed and helped Rey to her feet, guiding her around to the right side of the bed, she always sat on the right, pulling back the covers. Taking a small bin from beside the bed, he put it next to her as she lay down before refilling her cup of water. Rey turned her body away from him, ignoring him completely and probably passing out as he lay back down on the sofa, the silence in the room feeling suffocating. 

Then came a gentle whisper.

“Goodnight Ben.”

His heart skipped a beat and Ben reached up, touching the engagement ring over his heart, “Goodnight Rey.”


	3. the lake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, our friends having rampant sex, do you think any of them are as good as us?” she blurted out. 
> 
> This would be a perfect time for the ground to swallow him whole.
> 
> “Rey!” he exclaimed, cheeks turning red as his eyes widened at her. 
> 
> “What? I’m just saying that we had really good sex!” she argued. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where we earn our E rating so please proceed with caution!

Rey woke with the worst headache in the world. She briefly recalled asking Poe for a beer the night before, the hot tub and scrambling up to her room on unsteady legs. The rest was mostly a blur. As she opened her eyes, she caught sight of the plastic cup with water in on the bedside table. She sat up, her hand moving to her aching head as everything slowly came back to her, one bit at a time. 

Ben helping her off the floor, encouraging her to get into her pyjamas. Sitting beside each other on the bed as she babbled drunken thoughts that much to her dismay, she couldn’t quite remember. She was fairly certain she hadn’t said anything too stupid to Ben but she had been sober enough in the hot tub to remember  _ exactly  _ what she had admitted. 

Her cheeks flushed at the memory. Telling Jannah how she felt about Ben, even after all this time, she still loved him. Pulling back the covers, Rey stepped out of bed, relieved to see Ben wasn’t on the sofa and must have already headed downstairs. Walking across the room, Rey pushed open the bathroom door, closing it behind her. She stood in front of the mirror and leant down on the sink, taking deep breaths as she tried to calm down. There was no need to panic. What was important was that Ben didn’t know and as far as she was aware, he didn’t and he wasn’t going to. It was in the past, Ben didn’t feel that way about her anymore, he had moved on and so should she. It was for the best. 

Rey turned on the tap and splashed her face with water to try and wake up a bit. She really wasn’t looking forward to seeing Ben today. How was she meant to face him after admitting to herself how she felt? Fuck, she really did love him. So damn much it hurt. Yet, she was afraid, so afraid of what could happen. He had broken her heart once and it had destroyed her, she couldn’t go through it again. She couldn’t have a repeat of the last nine months, she wouldn’t make it out of the other side in one piece. Everything hurt, her heart especially, Ben Solo was an infuriating man, she hated how he did this to her. How he made her feel hopeful when she knew there was no chance to have what they had had before. 

It had been a dream, a wonderful dream that at the time Rey knew she took for granted. He was so gentle and caring, he looked at her like she was the sun, loved her like she was his soulmate which for a long time she really thought she was, he was definitely hers. She wondered if there was a point trying to find someone new, maybe give the waiter from the restaurant a chance. But a voice in her head screamed no. Because no one would be like Ben Solo, no one would love her as Ben did and she couldn’t love anyone as much as she loved him. She recalled how hurt and disappointed she had felt the night before as she had foolishly leaned closer to him, searching for a kiss he wouldn’t give her. Of course, he wouldn’t. God, she was such a fool!

When she made her way down to the kitchen after showering and getting dressed, Rey’s mind was still a mess. She stepped into the kitchen and froze when she saw Ben with his back to her, standing by the sink and cleaning dishes. Rey watched him, a small smile quirking her lips as she shook her head, he was obsessed with everything being clean. Being the slob that she was, Ben had always insisted on  _ trying  _ to keep their apartment clean. He always was the one keeping her together, she supposed she did the same for him, be it in a different way. They worked well together, always knowing what to say and how to help. They were  _ happy  _ together. It made Rey’s heart ache once again. 

“Morning,” Ben said, pulling Rey from her daze.

He was leaning against the counter, coffee in hand as he acknowledged her. 

“Hi.” Rey breathed.

“You alright?”

She nodded frantically, moving to get a cup of coffee from the machine. She couldn’t think clearly without it this morning. Opening cupboards, she looked around for the sugar, frowning when she couldn’t find any.

“Have you seen any-” Ben stretched out his hand, a pot of sugar cubes in hand, “Oh, thanks,” she said, taking the pot and putting an obscene amount into her coffee. 

Ben chuckled, “Still obsessed with trying to have the sweetest coffee possible?” he asked, shaking his head with mock disapproval. 

Rey looked pointedly at his mug, “Still drinking a coffee as dark as night?” she asked in return. 

He raised an eyebrow, “Ah, so instead of trying to lower your sugar intake you have taken up poetry.” he contemplated. 

She laughed, taking a sip of her coffee. It felt nice to talk like this. It felt normal again. Her face fell at the reminder and she stood sipping her coffee slowly. “What’s wrong?” Ben asked almost immediately noticing the shift in mood. 

Her eyes flickered up to him and she shook her head, “It’s nothing.” 

“Well, it’s obviously something.” 

Rey bit her lip, trying to think of what to say. He looked at her with an emotion crossed between confusion and sympathy. She hated it. The idea of coming clean to him about her feelings and being faced with pity felt worse than if he flat out rejected her or shouted at her for being a fool. She had turned him away, when things got hard she turned her back on everything they had built together. She wasn’t the only one who had her heart broken. Ben didn’t exactly leave for Japan with a smile on his face. 

Rey knew she would never forget the day he left. After a raging argument that ended with her giving back the engagement ring, she had spent the night at Rose and Finn’s before heading home the next morning to hopefully reconcile. It was her own fault for being hopeful. She had screamed that she never wanted to see him again, of course he had respected her wishes. 

Walking back into their apartment had felt like a nightmare. Many of his possessions remained, his books still on the shelves, his certificates still framed on the wall, his typewriter still sad on the desk in their living room. When she entered the kitchen, she found the letter on the table. His goodbye, his final farewell before walking out of her life completely. After reading it once, she folded it and never looked at it again, it now sat in the bottom of her desk in her new apartment. In the bedroom, his side of the wardrobe was almost empty, save for a couple of suits he wouldn’t need in Japan. She had lain down on their bed, it still smelled of him. She cried. She cried into his pillow for hours until Finn showed up and they packed up her stuff. The next day she said goodbye to the apartment for the final time. 

As Ben stood opposite her now, she felt weak at the knees. She had been prepared to never see him again, made peace with the situation. But here he was again after barging right back into her life and sending her feelings all over the place. 

“I don’t want to talk about it, Ben. I can’t,” she said firmly. Ben’s face fell. “Leave me alone,” she said hurriedly, rushing to leave, she couldn’t face him like this, she wasn’t strong enough. He grabbed her arm and she turned, her hand gripping her coffee like a vice as his plaintive eyes poured into her own. “Rey, please.” 

She shook her head, “No. Neither of us can come out the other side of this. We broke up nine months ago, Ben, that was the end.” she said, refusing to allow her voice to break as she spoke. 

“You and I both know that isn’t true. There is something here, Rey, why are you afraid of it?” he asked. 

Rey tugged her arm away, “You left, Ben, so did I. We both walked out on this relationship, you don’t want it, I know you don’t want this.” she said sadly. 

Slowly she stepped away as Ben looked at her with a look of upset plastered across his face, “I can’t do this, I’m sorry.” she hurried away from him, hastily wiping away the stray tears as she went. 

She left the kitchen before he could follow her. There were only a few days left, she’d sleep on the downstairs sofa or something, avoid him completely so she could just think straight.

-☀️-

That night, the group walked out into the country to a nearby lake. There, they set up a campfire and gathered around it, toasting marshmallows and drinking cheap beer. Ben felt on edge as he sat with his friends, disconnected from the boisterous and rowdy conversations. He sat beside Jannah on one of the fallen logs they had rolled over to take a seat. Throughout the evening, his cousin had been sending him glances, suspicious ones too. Jannah knew something, he was fairly certain of that. They had known each other since they were babies, practically raised together. Ben knew when Jannah was hiding something, even more when she was lying, and right now there was definitely something she wasn’t telling him. Each time he tried to speak to her however, she would divert her attention elsewhere, starting a conversation with someone across the fire. It made Ben clench his fists at his sides, his cousin could be so irritating sometimes and there was definitely something she was holding back, something important. 

He tried his best not to dwell on it, sipping on the lone beer he would be drinking that evening. His mind was a mess, it was exhausting trying to balance everything that was going around his mind. Across the fire, Rey sat beside Rose, staring into the flames, seemingly lost as she sipped her J2o, it was probably a good idea she had refrained from having alcohol after the night before. 

Ben couldn’t stop thinking about it. The way they had sat side by side, how she had leaned closer to him, presumably to kiss him before he turned away. She didn’t want that, he didn’t want her to have that mistake. He’d wanted to kiss her, god how he had wanted to press his lips to hers and fall back into the silky sheets with her. What had transpired in the kitchen that morning was exactly why he couldn’t. She didn’t want him, her attempts had been a drunken mistake. Rey was right, they had broken up, it was over and now they had to move on. 

He’d had one or two girlfriends before Rey. He supposes it was quite sad when they broke up but it was never particularly hard to move on, not like with Rey. God, he was such an idiot sometimes. He watched as she engaged with the others, her smile bright across her face. That twat in the restaurant had been right, she really was a ray of sunshine.

As the time drew closer to midnight, people slowly began to make their way back to the house until it was just himself, Jannah, Hux and Rey sitting around the fire. “Right, her ladyship must be waiting for me,” Jannah announced, getting to her feet. Ben stood with her and she froze as he gave her a look that said  _ what do you know.  _

Grabbing his arm, she pulled him away from the campfire and the other two, “What’s going on? Don’t you dare say nothing, I know you, Jannah Calrissian.” he asked, lowering his voice to a whisper. 

“I can’t tell you,” she said firmly.

“Why not?” Ben demanded.

“Because it isn’t about me! You have to wait and find out for yourself.” 

“Who is it about?” 

Jannah bit her lip nervously before nodding her head in Rey’s direction. Ben sighed. Of course. “Is she okay?” he asked. 

Jannah shrugged, “I don’t know, it’s affecting her, she started rambling a lot yesterday in the hot tub, she’s been keeping a lot in.” she said thoughtfully, “Just a word of advice though, don’t push her away this time.” she spoke gently. Ben nodded slowly in understanding as Hux approached them.

“You heading up too, Ben?” he asked.

“No, I think I’ll stay for a bit,” he said, his eyes flickering to where Rey was staring out at the lake. 

He said goodnight and Hux and Jannah made their way back to the villa. For a few moments, he stood idly, at a loss for what to do in his current predicament. He looked down at Rey sitting down in the grass dressed only in her shorts and bikini top, her skin highlighted by the orange and yellows of the fire, creating the illusion that she was glowing in the night. Her neck was craned as she looked up at the stars. He knew how much she loved the stars, they reminded her that the universe was so much bigger than them on their tiny planet, it showed them an insight into what was out there. When they were together they would climb up the stairs to the roof where they would stargaze on the clear nights, lying together in each other’s arms as they spotted shooting stars. 

He would wish that they would be together forever.

How wrong he had been.

Guess wishes didn’t come true. 

Taking a deep breath, he approached her and sat down in the grass beside her, looking up at the stars with her. “They are so different from New York.” she murmured. 

“And Japan.” 

She turned to him, “Mmhm.” 

Okay, maybe steer clear of that topic. It left a sour taste in both their mouths. “Are you going to head up?” he asked, trying to change the conversation.

Rey laughed bitterly, “And listen to our friends have rampant sex? I’d rather stay out here.”

Ben chuckled at her lewd comment, “Fair enough, doesn’t exactly sound like a peaceful environment to sleep in.”

“Especially with Poe in the house.” 

The pair burst into a fit of laughter at that. It felt good to laugh with Rey, it had been far too long. Maybe they could be friends after all. He couldn’t see himself removing her from his life completely. Rey was his person, the person who made him want to laugh and cry, the person he would love until the day he died. 

As their laughter subsided, Rey looked at him with a small smile, “I like it when you smile, you have always been so grumpy.”

“I’m not grumpy!” he exclaimed, “I’m just introverted.” 

Rey rolled her eyes, “Yeah, alright then.” she said, her voice laced with sarcasm. 

“I’m serious! My social interaction with other human beings is next to none.” he argued, picking at the grass beneath him, “I just get nervous.”

To his surprise, Rey reached out and placed a hand over his, “I know, but you are so much better than you were a few years ago, do you still talk to Maz? She said you kept in contact when you were away.” Ben nodded. Maz, his therapist, was one of the few people he kept in contact with whilst he was away with her weekly zoom call to make sure he was okay and was managing his anxiety. 

He looked down at where her hands rested over his, subtly, he moved his fingers to entwine with her own, holding onto them. Rey froze and abruptly pulled away, shaking slightly as she did. He watched as she bit the inside of her cheek, her eyes showing how her mind was searching for something to say that would dissipate the tension. 

“So, our friends having rampant sex, do you think any of them are as good as us?” she blurted out. 

This would be a perfect time for the ground to swallow him whole.

“Rey!” he exclaimed, cheeks turning red as his eyes widened at her. 

“What? I’m just saying that we had really good sex!” she argued. 

Ben coughed awkwardly, hands carding through his hair as he contemplated her words. She was right. They did have  _ really  _ good sex. “Yeah, I guess you have a point. But I don’t think we are knowledgeable enough to make a fair comparison.”

“Hmm, I don’t know, Poe does have a really big mouth.” Rey contemplated. 

“NO! I don’t want to know!” Ben exclaimed. 

Rey chuckled, “Alright alright fine!” she said with a sigh. She looked back to the lake, “It was pretty great though, right?” 

Ben nodded, “Well, we didn’t really know what we were doing at first but after a while, I think we got the hang of it.” 

Rey sighed, “God, we were so awkward back then, back when we were ‘just friends’” she said with a laugh. 

“I liked being friends, it was nice to have someone to talk to at all of Poe’s ridiculous parties,” Ben admitted. 

“We can be friends again,” Rey said gently.

He looked up at her, “Really?”

“Sure, why not?”

They sat in comfortable conversation, reminiscing over the parties they had been forced to attend with Poe. Being there together always made it more bearable.

“Oh god, remember when he insisted that we go skinny dipping in the lake near his house?” said Rey.

Ben groaned, putting his head in his hands, “Please don’t remind me, I saw far too much of Poe that day. My eyes will forever be scarred.” 

He watched as Rey’s eyes flickered to the lake, “Yeah, it was fun though.”

“Yeah…” Ben agreed, slowly trailing off as he remembered what it had felt like to see Rey naked for the first time, even when the water had given her modesty. 

Rey turned to him, eyes moving between his face and the lake, “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?’ she asked. 

Ben felt his breath catch in his throat as she realised what she was insinuating, “What? No way!” he exclaimed, horrified. 

Rey rolled her eyes, “Oh, don’t be so dramatic. How about this: rock paper scissors.”

“How may I ask, does that help my case?” 

“If you win, I’ll go into the lake. If I win, you go in.” She explained.

“And what if it is a draw?” Ben suggested.

Rey paused, contemplating it before shrugging, “Well then, I guess we both go in.” 

With a sigh, he accepted her proposition and drew his hand out. 

_ Rock _

_ Paper _

_ Scissors _

They both drew paper. 

-☀️-

“Okay, you can turn around now,” Rey said, throwing her bikini top onto the grass after sinking deeper into the cool water. Ben turned to face her, she noticed his eyes widen at the sight of her. The water was deep enough that nothing too lewd was on display as she floated naked in the water. She stood opposite her ex-fiance wearing absolutely  _ nothing.  _ This was totally normal, friends went skinny dipping all the time… right? She knew she should probably feel self-conscious or embarrassed, but it wasn’t like they hadn’t seen each other naked before. They had explored every inch of each other’s bodies over a thousand times. That didn’t, however, calm her nerves. Nine months was a long time. 

Both of them floated there in silence, breathing heavily as the stars and moon reflected on their bare shoulders. It truly was a beautiful night. Rey was glad she came on this holiday, the view and greenery that surrounded her were breathtaking, even in the dark night.

Suddenly, Rey felt a wave of water hit her in the face, followed by a chuckle from Ben. “Oh, you bastard!” she exclaimed, splashing him back. Ben spluttered as the water hit him directly in the face. She supposed it was rather childish as she laughed at him, “Sorry to say it, Ben, but your hair ain’t looking too good right now.” 

“Okay, now you are in for it!” They stood in the water, splashing each other and laughing like fools as they bounced through the cool lake. After the tension in the kitchen that morning, it felt like a relief to pretend things were different, that they were just two people having fun.

So much between them was cold and broken, she had missed their friendship, the laughter that came with it. Her friends were fun to be around and hang out with, Poe always had a joke to tell. But none of them quite understood her as Ben did.

Rey took a step forward to splash him once again, only for her foot to get stuck in some reeds. “Oh, shit,” she mumbled, trying to yank her foot out. Ben splashed her again and she screamed, “Ben, stop! I’m stuck!” she laughed. 

“Oh, you idiot.” Ben said, walking over to her, “Here, take my hands and I’ll pull you out.” 

Rey nodded and took his hands, the touch making electricity float through her veins. “Okay 3, 2, 1.” Ben pulled on her hands and she kicked, her feet untangling from the reeds, causing her to be pulled straight into Ben’s arms and against his naked body. 

Her heart skipped a beat as she felt the hard planes of his chest beneath her fingers. Ben inhaled sharply and she looked up at him, biting her lip. Subtly, she drew closer to him so their bodies were pressed against each other. “Rey-” 

She raised a finger, pressing it to his lips and silencing him. “Don’t,” she breathed gently. 

Her hands slowly moved down from his chest, along the lines of his body until they curved over his hips beneath the water. She looked up into his eyes, a silent question. He nodded. 

When her hand brushed over his erection, she released a breath she hadn’t realised she had been holding. Ben released a quiet groan, she revelled in the sound. Touching him, it felt good after so long, after so many months apart. Tentatively, she wrapped her fingers around the base of his cock, slowly moving as Ben groaned once more. He grabbed hold of her wrist, stilling her movements, “You don’t have to.” he said shakily. 

Rey looked into his eyes, her other hand moving his hair from his face, “I want to.” she said before continuing her action. Beneath the water, her hand felt heated by his body in the cold water. She moved with slow and precise movements, just how she knew he liked it. Memories of their time together all came back to her, how had it been so long? She couldn’t even begin to comprehend how she had lived without this, without this intimacy and closeness. 

Ben leant forward, his head resting against her shoulder as he breathed heavily. Her other hand reached up and stroked his bare back gently just as his own hands took hold of her forearms as he trembled. She didn’t blame him for being so close already, it had been a long time for  _ both  _ of them. 

“Rey I’m gonna- I’m gonna.” 

“It’s okay, Ben, let go.”

And let go he did. With a deep groan, Rey felt heat surrounding her hand as he shook violently from his orgasm. He breathed heavily against her skin as he came down from his high. Rey detached herself from him, pulling her hand back and stepping away from him, at a loss for words. 

Ben looked at her through hooded eyes, “Rey-”

“No, don’t. I shouldn’t have done that.” she said, walking away from him and making her way to the shore. 

“Rey, please!’

“No! I can’t do it, I’m sorry, I can’t!.” she shouted, clambering out the water and throwing on her clothes as quickly as possible. 

She ran as fast as she could, passed the campfire that was slowly burning out and towards the villa, ignoring Ben’s desperate shouts as she went. 

She really was an idiot. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! More coming soon!


	4. broken down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leaning down, he pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, “Goodbye, my love.” he whispered before stepping away, being careful not to wake her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooo another chapter! Probably one of my favs so far, warning for angst ahead!

When Ben made his way up to the bedroom after walking back from the lake, Rey wasn’t there. He slipped into his pyjamas and sat waiting on the sofa. He sat for two hours and there was no sign of her. She had definitely come back from the lake, her shoes were by the door and her damp clothes were hanging up on the washing line so she certainly hadn’t run away. Ben presumed she was sleeping downstairs as she had mentioned earlier in the week, he wasn’t about to go stomping around the house to try and find her. If she wanted to be alone then he had to respect that. 

With a tired sigh, he lay down on the sofa and pulled the blanket over himself. He held onto the engagement ring, clutching it tightly as he fell asleep. Rey never came back up to the bedroom that night. 

When he woke the next morning, the sun was rising over the Spanish countryside. His watch told him it was only seven in the morning and Ben groaned as he sat up, an awful pain in his neck as he yawned and stretched. His gaze flickered to the empty bed and guilt washed over him. Rey regretted what had happened last night, he wouldn’t be surprised if she was disgusted with herself after the incident in the lake. Slowly rising to his feet, Ben looked around the room. The summer couldn’t continue like this. Rey had come here for a break and he was ruining that, stopping her from moving on. It wasn’t fair. He was never meant to come in the first place. 

It wasn’t a difficult decision to make. He didn’t think twice as he took his duffle bag out from under the sofa and began to pack up his things, dumping clothes into the bag without bothering to fold them. The sooner he was gone, the sooner Rey could be happy. He moved almost like a robot, getting in the shower and changing before packing his washbag up and chucking it into the duffle. He just wanted Rey to be happy, he couldn’t ask for anything else. Best case scenario would be that he was gone by the time she woke up, on a plane before he had time to really think about what he was doing. 

It would be selfish to stay. This was the right thing to do. At least, that’s what his mind was telling him, shouting over the voice that pleaded with him to stay and try and work things out. A ridiculous idea, the chance to talk over things had been and gone. When he got to New York he would pack up his things and move to his Uncle’s before Rey even left Spain, he was walking straight out of her life for good this time. Just like she wanted. 

Zipping up his bag, his hand moved to touch the ring that hung around his neck. He pulled it off. And looking at it in the reflection of the rising sun. His gaze flickered to a pad of paper and pen resting on the bedside table, no doubt belonging to Rey. 

Holding the ring in his left hand, he removed the lid from the pen and began to write. 

When he was satisfied with what he had written, he folded it up and carried his duffle bag downstairs. He moved as quietly as he could, hopefully, everyone was still asleep, he could drop Poe a text when he got to the airport. Standing in the kitchen, he booked a last-minute flight to New York that would leave at around midday, giving him plenty of time to get to the airport in a taxi. 

Stuffing his phone in his pocket, Ben stepped quietly into the living room. Rey was sleeping peacefully on the sofa. With the ring and letter in hand, he dropped his bag by the door and slowly approached her. She looked calm, relaxed, and so so beautiful even as she slept. Taking a shaking breath, he placed the letter and ring on the coffee table in front of her. Leaning down, he pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, “Goodbye, my love.” he whispered before stepping away, being careful not to wake her. 

He left the house with the intention of walking to the town to see if he could get some kind of bus or taxi ride to the airport. However, just as he was walking up the driveway, the front door opened and a voice called out to him.

“Where are you going?”

Ben turned to see Jannah standing in the doorway, dressed in her joggers and sweatshirt. Jannah was always up at the crack of dawn, he should have known that his cousin would catch him. “To the airport.” he answered solemnly. 

“You’re leaving?” she asked, stepping out of the house. 

Ben nodded, “I think it’s for the best.” he admitted with a sigh. 

“It’s about Rey isn’t it?” 

“Of course it is.” he mumbled, looking down at his feet, “I can’t stay here and continue to make her miserable, it isn’t fair on her.”

“You aren’t going to try talking about it then? Try and figure this out like adults?”

“It’s no use, Jannah, I left her once and it was cruel to come barging back into her life again.”

His cousin crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes at him, “If Snoke has called you back to work again and you are simply making excuses, I will murder you, Ben Solo.”

He shook his head, “God no, I quit that job.”

Jannah’s eyes widened, “You did what?”

Ben nodded, “When the nine months was up he asked me to stay an extra three months.” he explained, recalling his final meeting with his former boss, “I refused and walked out, I’d had enough.” 

“Took you long enough.” said Jannah, “Rey was trying to tell you to leave for months and you wouldn’t listen.

Ben put his head in his hands in shame, “I know.” he muttered, “I was a fucking idiot and Snoke took advantage of that, shielding me from everyone I loved. I should have listened to her, I shouldn’t have pushed her away.” He pulled his hands away from his face, running them through his hair as he held back his tears. If only he had realised it sooner, maybe he and Rey would have been married by now.

Jannah reached out and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her and met her friendly gaze, “If you truly believe this is the right thing to do then I can’t stop you,” she explained, “But just know that Rey will never hate you, Ben, one day you will be able to forgive each other for all this.”

“I hope so but I know now we can never be friends.” Sniffing, Ben wiped the unshed tears from his eyes and gave his cousin a nod, “I guess this is it then.” 

Jannah sighed, “At least let me drive you, just so I know you get there in one piece.” 

Ben reluctantly agreed and the pair clambered into the seven-seater. They pulled out of the drive and Ben took one last look at the beautiful villa. Jannah switched on her phone, filling the car with music. Of course, the first song just had to be _that_ one. 

“Can I skip?” he asked.

“What’s wrong with you and Rey with this song? Don’t you forget about me is a banger.” she said, gesturing for him to skip. Ben did so immediately before settling back into his seat as the next song began to play.

“It was going to be for our first dance, we both love the movie and the song so it made sense, I guess.” Ben explained, recalling the evening they had chosen the Simple Minds track. 

A small smile quirked Jannah’s lips, “I’m sure it would have been lovely.” she said gently.

Ben looked out of the window, out at the rolling hills as he replied, “Yeah, yeah it would’ve.”

-☀️-

Rey stirred as she felt the sun shining down on her face. Her eyes fluttered open and she released a tired yawn as they adjusted to her surroundings. There was an awful pain in her neck as she sat up, maybe sleeping on the couch wasn’t a good idea. Moving a hand through her tangled hair, Rey’s eyes fell upon a piece of paper resting on the coffee table in front of her. 

She furrowed her brows in confusion, reaching out and picking it up, only for something to fall out of the folded pages, landing directly in her lap. 

Her engagement ring. 

She dropped the paper on the coffee table and picked up the ring. The ring she had taken off nine months before. It was hanging on a chain. She knew it could only have come from one person. Picking up the paper, she unfolded it and began to read. 

_Dear Rey,_

_By the time you get this letter, I will be gone. For once in my life, I think I am doing the right thing, even if it is the hardest. Seeing you again over the last few days has brought light back into my life, you always managed to light up my darkest days. But, I made my decision nine months ago, and as much as I regret what I did, I know nothing I will do or say will ever change that. I hurt you when I swore I never would, I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am. I hope that one day, you will find it in your heart to forgive me._

_I want you to know that I no longer work for Snoke. Throughout my time in Japan I realised that everything you said about him was true, I allowed him to manipulate me and paid the price for it. Once the nine months were up, he told me he wanted me to stay on. I refused and walked out._

_I have booked a seat on the first flight back to New York, from there I will pack up my apartment and be out of the city before you arrive home. I am moving to my Uncle’s like I said to help him on his ranch and maybe write that book you were always mithering me about._

_Before I go, I want you to know how much I love you, Rey. You are the love of my life and I am the luckiest man alive to have known you and although our time together was short, I don’t regret a single moment. Not a day has gone by since you left that apartment where I haven’t thought of you and everything I lost because of how foolish I was. I love you, Rey Niima, now and forever._

_I hope one day we can see each other again and meet as old friends. I wish you every happiness in the world, you deserve the universe Rey, I hope you find the person who can give it to you._

_All my love,_

_Your Ben x_

_P.S I have had this ring with me ever since you left, around my neck as I carried you with me. I believe it is time it went back to the person it truly belongs to for I don’t think I could ever possibly give it to someone else. It belongs in the places where my heart resides, and that will always be with you._

Rey read the letter twice, unable to understand what she was seeing. He’d gone.

Only now did she realise how desperately she had wanted him to stay. 

She looked down at the ring in her hand, raising it to her lips, she pressed a kiss to it as a sob racked through her body. Oh god, what had she done? This was such a huge mistake. Rey got to her feet, putting the chain around her neck so the ring rested above her heart. Hurriedly wiping away her tears, she rushed out of the living room and into the hall. 

“POE!” she shouted up the stairs, “POE, GET THE FUCK OUT OF BED!”

The sound of doors opening and footsteps running down the stairs filled the hall as Rey pulled on her coat over her pyjama top and slipped on her crocs, she didn’t have time for straps or laces. Poe appeared at the end of the hall, dressed only in his pants, “What’s wrong?” he asked, panicked.

“Ben’s gone!” Rey exclaimed, holding up the letter. 

“Rey!” came Kaydel’s voice as she came up behind Poe, she held her phone up to Rey, “It’s Jannah, she’s driven him to the airport.”

“Do you know when they left?” Hux asked, pulling on a shirt and wrapping a dressing gown around his boyfriend. 

“Jannah texted me about an hour ago.” 

Rey snatched the keys for the Twingo off the kitchen counter, “I’m going after them!” she announced, flinging the front door open. 

“What? Really?” Finn shouted.

“Yes!” Rey shouted, “I let him go once, I am NOT letting him do it again!”

“Well, then I’m coming too!” Poe announced, running out of the front door behind her. 

“Poe, no!” Armitage shouted as the group rushed outside and onto the drive. 

Rey opened the driver’s seat of the Twingo, Poe sliding in next to her in the passenger’s seat. She turned to him, raising an eyebrow, “Really? In your pants?” 

“Hey, I’m in a dressing gown too!” 

Rolling her eyes, Rey started the engine, “Fine. I don’t have time for this anyway, just behave yourself.”

“Ptff, of course, I will! Now come on, let’s go and save Prince Charming.”

Rey’s hands gripped the wheel and she paused for a moment. She hesitated, wondering if this really was the right thing to do. “Rey?” 

“I don’t know if I can do this,” she admitted, “What if he hates me?” Rey looked at her with worried eyes and Poe stretched out his hand. 

“Honey, give me the fucking letter.”

Rey hastily handed it over and watched as Poe read over it. When he reached the end of the letter he shouted, “Goddamit!” he shouted, slamming the letter down on the dashboard.

“Why? What is it?”

“Rey, you idiot! He loves you! And we have wasted precious minutes sitting in this car so for the love of god drive!” Rey nodded frantically, slamming her foot on the accelerator and leading the car up the driveway, Poe clutched at the car door, “Fuck, I always knew Ben was the better driver.” he muttered. 

“Would you like to walk?” Rey demanded, glaring at him as she turned onto the road.

“Just drive, woman!”

There was no hesitation in her mind as she followed his instructions. She was going to drive, she was going to drive as fast as she could. 

Rey had to get to that airport. She refused to let Ben leave again, not when destiny had pushed them together once more. She cursed herself for being so blind, once she found him she was never going to let go.

Poe looked terrified as she pushed the tiny car as fast as it would go. They were an hour behind Ben and Jannah at least, it would take them an hour and a half to reach the airport, Rey peered at the analogue clock on the dashboard. 10:15. As they drove, Poe looked up the next flight to New York, it was due to depart at midday. Talk about cutting it close. 

“So what are you going to say?” Poe asked as she took a sharp turn.

“W-what do you mean?” she questioned. 

Poe’s eyes widened and he shifted in his seat to face her, “You mean you haven’t been obsessing over what you are going to tell him when you get there?” he exclaimed. 

Rey bit her lip, her hands felt clammy as they held the steering wheel, “I haven’t quite got to that part yet.” she explained, “I’m focusing on getting there first.”

“Well, now is a perfect time to de-stress, relax, remember to drive safely on busy roads.” Rey shot him a glare and he shuffled back into his seat properly, “Okay, now I am very scared of you.”

Rey groaned, “It’s not like it’s easy! This is a very complicated situation, Poe!”

“How? He loves you, Rey, and I’ll bet all my money you do too!” She nodded and a shit-eating grin spread across Poe’s face, “Ben is your person, Rey. What you have together is so special, yes you hit a bump over the last nine months but at the end of the day, you are made for each other.” 

It was cringy but Rey reached up and touched the ring that rested over her heart, “Yeah, I suppose we are.” she said gently, “I’m such a fool Poe, I love him so much and I let him go!”

Poe shook his head, “No. Now is not the time Rey, this isn’t over yet.”

“But what if we miss the plane!”

“Then we will get immediately onto the next one, I will be damned if I let you lose each other again.” Poe said firmly, his words warming Rey’s heart. Despite how much of an idiot he was, Rey really loved Poe. 

Rey looked out at the road, taking a deep breath. She could do this. She had to do this. She couldn’t live without him anymore…

_Nine Months Prior_

“JAPAN?” Rey exclaimed, getting to her feet and looking at her fiance with raging anger in her eyes, “How could you not have told me about this, Ben? It’s halfway around the world!” 

“I thought it would be a nice surprise!” Ben argued, “That it would be a nice experience.”

Rey clenched her fists at her side, “A nice experience? Maybe for a short holiday but it’s nine months, Ben!” she retorted, “Nine months away from everything, our friends, our family. Christ, we are meant to be getting married!”

“Well, then we will just have to postpone for a couple of months when we get back,” he suggested, rising to his feet and approaching her as Rey gritted her teeth and glared at him. 

“We have already pushed the date back twice to work around you and Snoke’s schedule! Do you even want to marry me?” she asked, standing firm as she refused to allow her voice to waver. 

“Of course I do, Rey! But this is an amazing opportunity, for both of us.” He said.

“An amazing opportunity? I’ll have to quit my job, Ben! I love my job, I love working with the children, I can’t leave them for nine months, they are only young!” 

“But that’s what marriage is about, you have to make sacrifices!” 

“Then why aren’t you making any? Because so far we are looking at pushing back our wedding _again,_ quitting my job and leaving the only place I have ever called home.” she was shaking now, with rage or anxiety she wasn’t sure. 

“We’ll be together, you’re my home, Rey.” Ben said slowly, reaching out a hand to caress her cheek. 

Rey jerked away, looking across the room, shaking her head. “You can’t ask me to do this.” she said, holding back her tears as she spoke, “I can’t give up everything.”

Ben cupped his cheeks, “I’m not asking you to, I am just asking that you support me. This is an amazing opportunity, Snoke says-”

Rey pulled away, “Snoke says? It’s always what he says, isn’t it?” Rey exclaimed, “He is manipulating you, Ben!”

Ben’s expression hardened, “No. You do not get to say this shit again, Snoke wants what is best for me, building my career to the best it can be.” 

“When did we stop talking like us?” Rey demanded, “We used to talk about shit, figure it out together. You are never here anymore! Always at the fucking office!”

“Because I am trying to support us! Give us a future!” Ben shouted. Rey didn’t shy away, she looked at him with a fire in her eyes that could silence anyone.

“What if there isn’t a future left to save?” she argued. 

“What?”

“You heard me.”

Ben froze, they both did as the weight of Rey’s words settled in. She looked down at the ring of her finger, it felt heavy, like a burden. Surely it shouldn’t feel like that? She used to look at it and smile, it reminded her of Ben, of their love. Now it reminded her how long it had been there, how long she had been waiting to call Ben her husband. Could she still say she wanted to? For months now they had drifted apart. He was never there. They didn’t have movie nights anymore, go out on strange but wonderful dates. They didn’t even sleep together anymore, in both senses of the word. Ben was always too tired or she was asleep by the time he got in from work. Most nights he would sleep on the sofa because ‘he didn’t want to wake her’. 

“Is there anything left to fight for?” Rey whispered.

No. No there wasn’t. 

Hearts were shattered. Promises were broken. And a love was lost…

_The Present_

“Can’t this thing go any faster?” Poe asked as they made their way along the country road. They had been driving for an hour and the Twingo was struggling as they tried to race to the airport. “I’m trying! You know this care really is crap, Poe!”

“But it’s so cool!” 

“Poe, I swear to god!”

The sound of the engine sputtering filled the car and Rey’s heart dropped. She forced her foot down on the accelerator but it was no use, the car slowly came to a sudden stop. Turning the keys in the engine, Rey cursed and pleaded with it to come back to life. Around them, the road was empty and they were still a couple of miles from the motorway. “Shit!” she cried, leaning her forehead against the steering wheel. 

“Any chance we can walk it?” 

“No, Poe, there isn’t. We are completely screwed. Ben is going to get on that bloody plane before I can stop him.” she said sadly, her fingers tracing the outlining the ring as she took a shuddering breath. “I was such a fool.” 

Poe turned in his seat, his finger resting under her chin and tilting her face to look at him. “Listen, Rey, it is not too late. It will never be too late as long as you don’t give up.” he said gently, “I know I am a crazy lovesick, overdramatic fool with crazy ideas, but I certainly know one thing,” reaching out, he pressed a hand to Rey’s chest right over her heart, “the lucky people in this world find their other half, the one who completes them. You found that part of you, Rey, you and Ben needed each other more than you realise. That doesn’t come around too often, so grab it and never let it go.” 

Rey’s eyes shone with unshed tears and she nodded. “But what do I do? We’ll never get on that plane now!” 

Poe reached into the pocket of the dressing gown and pulled out his phone, “Maybe give him a call?” 

Wow. She really was stupid. 

He handed it over and Rey unlocked the phone, pressing the contacts app and scrolling down to _B._

_Baz_

_Beer man_

_Briefcase Wanker_

_Betty_

“Where’s Ben?” Rey asked, arching an eyebrow in confusion as she double-checked the names. 

“Oh! He’s briefcase wanker, I haven’t changed it since we met.” 

Rolling her eyes, Rey pressed on the contact and raised the phone to her ear. She waited, breath caught in her throat as it rang. Closing her eyes, she focused on the steady chain of beeps, desperate to hear his voice.

The beeps stopped. 

And she heard a voice.

“Hello-”

“Ben! Thank god, I need to tell you I’m-”

“This is Ben’s phone, leave a message after the tone.” 

Her heart stopped in her chest and Rey looked down at her feet, gripping the phone in her hand like a vice. Her gaze flickered to Poe, “It went to voicemail.” she whispered to him. 

“Well, then leave a message!”

The tone sounded. 

Rey left her message. 

-☀️-

Ben had said a hasty goodbye to Jannah before going through security and checking in. After picking up a black coffee, he made his way to his gate, being early was better than being late. His mind felt jumbled, his heart heavy as he waited for the gate to open. He sipped the drink, hoping it would wake him a little before he got on his flight. He hated flying, it always made his anxiety so much worse. 

With the intention of looking for his stress ball, Ben unzipped his duffle bag, shuffling aside his clothes and washback until he reached the bottom of the bag, His hands moved through the mess searching for the familiar ball when his hand brushed across a piece of paper. 

Furrowing his brow, he picked up the worn piece and lifted it out, flipping it over to see the picture on the other side. He sighed as he took in the image in front of him, his fingers tracing along it. 

The picture was from their third Christmas together, when Ben had hidden the small box containing the ring beneath the tree. Rey’s face had lit up when she opened it, looking down at it and lost for words as Ben took it from her and plucked the ring from the box. He told her he loved her, how she was his entire world and how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Rey had said yes, joy crossing her face as he slipped the ring onto her finger. Shortly after, she had attacked him with kisses, sending them both falling to the floor as they laughed and cried together. 

That evening they took a selfie next to the tree, Rey’s hand raised and showing off the ring so they could tell their friends. Rose had told them what a beautiful photo it was and suggested they frame it. So they did. It belonged on the fireplace, just next to the clock. It was the only picture Ben had taken with him when he left.

Boarding was announced for his flight. His phone rang in his pocket. Electing to ignore it, for now, Ben dropped the picture in his bag and zipped up the duffle. He’d check his phone once he was on the plane, it was probably just a cold caller anyway. 

Taking out his passport and ticket, Ben got into the queue and held them tight as he approached the desk. The air hostess checked his ticket and nodded for him to go through. As he walked through the glass tunnel, he paused and looked out at the distant countryside. His eyes flickered over the bright sun and beautiful hills with breathtaking homes. Somewhere out there, Rey had read his note and was probably going about her day. A small smile quirked his lips. Without him, she could finally be happy again. 

He continued and stepped onto the plane. 

Making his way down the rows of seats, Ben scanned the numbers for his seat. He peered at his ticket again, double-checking he had got it right before sliding into a chair by the window. At least he’d get a good view when he wasn’t asleep. Once his duffle bag was carefully in the overhead locker and he had retrieved his copy of Pride & Prejudice (he always found it comforting on long journeys, it calmed his anxiety), Ben pulled his phone from his pocket. 

It seemed that whoever had rung him, had left a message. 

Who even bothered to leave messages? Everyone texted these days. 

Shaking his head, he clicked play voicemail and raised the phone to his ear.

He wasn’t expecting the voice who came on. 

“Hey, Ben. You probably aren’t listening to this. Which I guess is why I am so confused as to what I can say. Alright, Poe, I get it, shove off. Anyway, sorry Poe is here too and won’t shut up. Look by all means get out of the car!” there was a pause and Ben’s hand tightened around the phone as he waited, “Sorry, um… well I read your letter, and I found the ring. I decided most of the choices I have made up till now have been the wrong ones. I shouldn’t have let you leave, I should have fought for us, I should have kissed you that day and told you how much I-” another pause and Ben waited with his breath caught in his throat, “I love you, Ben.” Rey’s voice broke and he could hear her beginning to cry, “I love you so much and I don’t want you to leave, not now, not ever. I love you so damn much that I am sitting in a broken down Twingo in the middle of the road because I tried to run after you. This probably won’t even reach you in time, you are probably in the middle of the Atlantic by now. But I couldn’t risk it. Because if there is a chance that you are listening on Spanish soil, then I would live the rest of my life regretting not asking you this. And here I am, asking you to please, please not get on that plane. Come back to me, Ben, come back and I promise never to let you go again. I love you.” Ben felt tears running down his cheeks, “I should go, I’ve probably used up all of Poe’s credit. I’m not going to say goodbye, so it’ll have to be a see you later.”

The following beep informed him that it was the end of the call. 

Slowly, he lowered the phone, eyes wide and jaw dropped as he tried to process everything he had just heard. 

Rey loves him. Rey _loves_ him. And he loves her. So so so much. He loves her… so what is he doing? 

Jumping to his feet and grabbing his book, Ben stumbled out of his seat, “Hello! Hello, please! I have to get off this plane.”

“I’m sorry, Sir, but we are preparing to take off, please sit down.”

“No, you don’t understand! She loves me!”

“Sir, please take a seat.”

“I can’t, I have to get off this plane. I need to find her.”

“Sir, it is too late, you must take a seat, the pilot is preparing to take off.”

Ben felt the engine’s kick in and his heart dropped. He looked up at the air hostess with pleading eyes, “Please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well done if you spotted the Inbetweeners reference, I salute you


	5. the plane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter is here! Thank you so much for reading this fic, I hope you enjoy the ending 💜
> 
> Thank you again to [Cecilia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceciliasheplin/works) for the beta, I couldn't have done this without you so thank you for helping me make some sense of my words.

Rey handed Poe the phone and hastily wiped away the tears that ran down her cheeks. “What now?” he asked slowly. The car wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, they had done everything they could do. What they did now was a good question. Rey didn’t know whether to wait or try and get moving again.

She shrugged, “I don’t know, I guess we call someone who can get us back to the villa.” she suggested, pulling the keys from the ignition with a said sigh. It would take a miracle to reach the airport now.

“Mmhm,” Poe slipped out of the car, looking down each side of the road when his face lit up, “actually, I think I have a better idea.” His expression told Rey that he had one of his more crazy plans. It was the look he wore when he said they should go skinny dipping in the lake or take a spontaneous trip to Spain.

“What do you mean?” Rey asked slowly, she wasn’t sure about this, most of Poe’s plans had an awful tendency to backfire or fail terribly.

Poe gave her a signature smirk, gesturing for her to join him. Undoing her seat belt, Rey slid out of the Twingo and watched as Poe walked over to an approaching tractor. He shouted up at the farmer and began speaking in perfect Spanish. Rey watched the exchange in confusion as Poe gestured to her and then to the car, explaining their situation. The farmer smiled and nodded, waving a hand at Rey. She walked forward, “You speak Spanish?” she asked Poe.

“Yup.”

“Then surely you could have driven with Ben on the first day?” 

He looked at her with a mischievous grin, “Now what would be the fun in that?” he said with a wink. Rey frowned, shaking her head. He really was such a drama queen. Now Rey thought about it, over the course of the holiday her and Ben had ended up together a lot. The car journey, the bedrooms, every meal they ended up together… Maybe her friends had been more involved than they were willing to admit. She certainly wouldn’t be surprised if they had been trying to set them up.

The farmer spoke again, pointing to the road ahead. Poe nodded, turning back to Rey. “He can take you to the airport, won’t be as fast as the car but it’s better than nothing. There is only room for one of us so you’ll be going alone,” he explained. Her head was spinning, this really wasn’t a good idea, trusting a complete stranger? Rey didn’t trust easily, what if she didn’t make it to the airport. But, despite the number of reasons why she shouldn’t get on the tractor, Rey’s heart leapt, there was still a chance, she could still reach Ben in time. “I can’t believe I am doing this,” she said, rubbing her head thoughtfully before jumping and flinging her arms around Poe, “Thank you, for everything.” 

Poe pulled back and gave her a gentle smile, “Go and get your man, Rey.” he said.

Rey nodded and accepted the farmer’s waiting hand as she climbed up onto the tractor, taking a precarious seat on the edge of the vehicle. She looked down at Poe standing in his pants and the tiny dressing gown, chuckling she shook her head. “I love you, Poe!” she called down to him. 

Poe dramatically placed a hand on his chest. “Oh Rey, do not torment me! Go! Find him!”

She turned to the farmer and nodded, “Estoy lista.”

He smiled and turned the engine of the tractor on. The vehicle jolted and Rey grabbed onto the back of the man’s seat, breathing a sigh of relief as they started down the road, moving surprisingly quickly. 

She watched Poe as they drove away, her eyes on his figure until he became a small shape in the distance. They drove through the country roads. When they reached the turning point onto the motorway, the farmer announced he knew another way. Rey just hoped the shortcut would be quicker. Biting her lip, she agreed and they lurched around a corner, sending Rey holding on for dear life. 

Her heart was pounding in her chest and she could feel herself sweating although she didn’t know if it was from anxiety or from the raging sun’s heat. The farmer asked questions as he drove, Rey found herself replying very shortly, unable to clear her racing mind to answer the kind man’s questions. 

Much to Rey’s relief, the shortcut took ten minutes off the journey and after only fifteen minutes, Rey could see the airport in the distance. She felt as though she could cry again, she’d done it. There was no clock but she was hopeful, there was a chance. As they pulled up to the airport carpark, a security guard approached them, asking what they were doing. The farmer hastily began to explain as Rey became jittery beside him. Looking across the carpark, she noticed a large screen with the time displayed across it, 11.54. 

Fuck. She and Poe must have spent longer in the broken down Twingo then she thought. She certainly did not have time for this. Rising to her feet, she tapped the farmer on the shoulder. The older man turned as she pressed a thankful kiss to his cheek, “Gracias Señor.” she said with a smile before hopping down from the tractor and breaking into a run. The farmer cheered her on as the security guard shouted at her to stop. Ignoring him, Rey ran faster, practically sprinting across the carpark. She must have looked like a fool dressed in her pyjamas with her coat hastily thrown over the top. But right now, she couldn’t find it within her to care. 

Her feet pounded against the ground as she slipped past cars, trying her best to not get hit by a car as she approached the airport. Tourists and travellers shuffled around, carrying suitcases and pushing trolleys. Rey skidded past all of them, weaving in between the crowds as she entered the airport. She paused, hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath. Nearly there, she couldn’t stop now. 

Straightening up, Rey continued through the airport, unsure of where she was going. It was only then that she realised how little she had on her. She hadn’t even thought to put her phone in her pocket, or money, or even a sodding passport! Now that she was here, she had no idea what to do. 

Moving through the airport, she slid into an empty waiting room where there were a group of boards listing the arrivals and departures. Holding her breath, she scanned across it, reading through the endless numbers of flights. 

_ Amsterdam: Departed _

_ London: Last Call _

_ Berlin: Gate Closing _

_ New York: Departed _

Rey froze, blinking several times, afraid she had misread. Her eyes flickered to the time in the corner of the screen. 12.05. She was too late. 

Tears fell down her cheeks as she sunk down into one of the seats, a sob rocking through her body as she trembled. “Oh god!” she cried out loud, glad she was alone in the small waiting room. Looking up at the board once again she wiped her cheeks, “Did he get off the plane?” She exclaimed, throwing her hands up. “Did he get off the bloody plane?!”

“I got off the plane.” 

Jumping to her feet, Rey turned and felt her heart stop in her chest. Standing in the doorway of the waiting room with a duffle bag in hand, was Ben Solo. Tears ran down his own cheeks and he seemed to be just as breathless as she felt. 

“You got off the plane?” she asked, her voice breaking. 

Ben nodded, “I got off the plane.” he repeated, a sob escaping him as he cried with her. 

Rey rushed across the room and without any hesitation, threw her arms around him and kissed him. The duffle bag was dropped and Ben’s arms found their way around her waist as he pulled her close and returned the kiss passionately. Her hands held onto him, afraid he would disappear if she didn’t. It was indescribable, it felt like the first water she had encountered after weeks in a desert… It felt like coming home. 

Slowly, Ben pulled away, both of them taking a moment to open their eyes as their hands held onto each other. “You got off the plane.” Rey breathed, still unable to believe it. 

Ben nodded and her favourite smile of his, the one saved only for her, broke across his face, “Yeah, I did. I received a very convincing voicemail telling me not to go.” 

Her hands caressed his cheeks as Rey drew a shaky breath and brushed her nose against his, “I’m sorry, Ben, I’m so sorry,” she cried, “I love you so damn much, I can’t leave you again.” 

“Sssh, I’m sorry too, for everything. But it’s okay, my love,” Ben whispered, “this is it now, we aren’t going to mess this up again,” he promised. 

Rey nodded hastily in agreement. “You are stuck with me for good now, Solo.” 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

He kissed her again, his soft lips caressing her own felt just like she remembered, truly wonderful. She kissed him with fervour, her hands tangling into his hair as she stood up on her tiptoes. Noticing her struggle, Ben’s arms tightened around her and he lifted her up, her feet coming off the ground resulting in her crocs slipping off and onto the floor. Despite how strange the situation was, Rey felt a bit like a Princess, finally home in the arms of her Prince. 

The kiss was everything they needed, with it, everything else fell into place. 

-☀️-

When Ben rang Poe, he and Jannah were already on their way back to the airport (this time in the other car, the Twingo had been towed away back to the rental place). They walked hand in hand, unable to wipe the smiles off their faces as they walked back through the airport. Jannah and Poe were standing waiting for them when they reached the car, smirks across their faces as they shook their heads, “You two really are ridiculous,” Jannah said, getting into the car, “you’d think you two were in a movie.”

“Don’t listen to Jannah, she doesn’t know how to have fun… at least you two finally decided to make use of the one brain cell you share,” said Poe with a mischievous grin. 

“Says the person in pants and a dressing gown!” Rey exclaimed as Ben pulled open the boot and dropped in his bag. 

He turned to Rey, “You’re one to talk!” he said, gesturing to her pyjamas and coat.

“I was in a rush!” Rey argued.

Laughing again, Ben slammed the boot shut and wrapped his arms around her. “Thank you.” he said, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. Rey bit her lip, looking up at him was a shine in her eyes. “You’re welcome.” she kissed him again and Ben felt like he was flying, how had he gone so long without her touch? Without her wonderful lips pressed softly against his own. 

Jannah honked on the horn of the car and the pair jumped apart as Poe burst out laughing. “Come on lovebirds! Save it for the bedroom!” Ben felt his cheeks heat up at the insinuation. Rey must have noticed what the comment did to him because she reached up and pressed a kiss to his cheek and whispered in his ear.

“Ignore him. But I really hope you won’t be sleeping on the sofa tonight.”

“Wasn’t even considering it.” 

Giving his hand a gentle squeeze, Rey led Ben to the back seats of the car. She shuffled into the middle and he sat by the window as she rested her head on his shoulder. As they drove through the Spanish countryside, Ben couldn’t quite believe how lucky he was. After everything, they had found each other again. Getting off that plane had been vital, he pushed through and demanded he be let off until the air hostesses gave up and he was let off just before takeoff. He had been running back through the airport when he heard the familiar cry. And then there she was. Sitting in the waiting room with eyes trained on the departures board. 

Rey’s hand rested on his knee as their fingers laced together, holding on tight as they drew closer to the villa. Last time they had been in cold silence, this time, they couldn’t be more doe-eyed if they tried. Ben turned to Rey, admiring her as the sun shone through the window and onto her, making her glow. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he released a content sigh and held onto her, he wasn’t going to let her go again. 

He looked down at the ring hanging on the chain around her neck, he hadn’t mentioned it yet, they needed to be alone for that conversation away from (Poe’s) flapping ears. Reaching out, he brushed against it with a hesitant finger, it falling against Rey’s chest as he did. Rey smiled up at him and nuzzled closer to him. This was it, Ben realised. This was where he belonged. Not in Japan, not in New York and not at his Uncle’s ranch. He belonged in the place his heart resided, with Rey.

When they pulled up the drive, the group was waiting for them by the front door before running out to hug both Ben and Rey. There were tears (from Rose) and laughs (from Poe) and Ben realised how much he had really missed his friends. Things weren’t going back to normal, they couldn’t. But there would be a new normal, one Ben was already looking forward to. 

The afternoon was spent around the pool. Poe showed off his tricks, flipping and jumping in with huge splashes until Hux got sick of him and pulled him aside and kissed him senseless with the promise that he would stop pissing around. Kaydel played blasted music through her speakers as Finn and Jannah did terrible karaoke and Rose danced along.

Ben sat on a lounger, legs apart as Rey lay between them, her back resting against his chest as he peppered her shoulder with gentle kisses. In her hands was her copy of Emma, she always read it when she was happy. Ben read it over her shoulder, he hadn’t read the book as much as Rey had, but it was certainly one that made him smile. “Did you know this book inspired Clueless?”

He nodded, “You tell me every time, sweetheart.” he said, pressing a kiss to her cheek. 

Rey sunk back against his chest, closing the book and looking up at him. “Mmm, I suppose I do, one day I’ll remember.” 

“Yes, and I’ll be here to correct you.” Ben whispered in return. 

Rey drew closer to him, her gaze flickering to his lips as she tilted her face and brushed her nose against his. His breath caught in his throat, he would never tire of this, he would never be sick of the electric feeling whenever they touched. His lips ghosted her own and his tongue darted to wet his lips as they slowly closed in on each other to-

“Oi! Lovebirds!” Poe shouted for the second time that day. Ben pulled back from his girl and glared at the man. The group were standing on the other side of the pool, towels around themselves and shit-eating grins across their faces. 

“We’re heading into town for the night, won’t be back till late.” Hux explained, “I take it you won’t be joining us?”

Before Ben could respond, Rey cut across him. “We’ll be fine here, it’s been a long day, go enjoy yourselves,” she said.

“We will,” Rose answered, “but be careful you two, don’t have too much fun.”

“ROSE!” Rey exclaimed. 

Rose giggled, “Just being honest.”

“Yeah guys, don’t break the bed.” Kaydel added with a wink. 

Ben felt mortified and pulled a sunhat from the table next to him over his head. 

“Go away!” Rey exclaimed, trying to stretch the hat over her face and earning more laughter from their friends. 

“Come on, guys, let’s leave these two in peace.” said Finn. They all made noises of agreement and filed back inside to get ready. Ben and Rey emerged from under the hat and Rey sat up, lifting her sunglasses up and blinking as her eyes adjusted to the bright light. 

Ben gazed at her as she ran her fingers through her hair. “What?” she asked with a cheeky grin. 

He shook his head, “Nothing, just thinking about how beautiful you look.” 

Rey swatted his arm playfully, “Oh, stop being such a flatterer.” she said, getting to her feet and offering her hand to him. “Walk with me?”

Ben nodded and took her hand, following her away from the pool and in the direction of the lake. 

They sat side by side by the lake, fingers entwined as the leant against each other, watching the dying sun. The events that had led him to this moment, flickered through his mind. Only a few weeks ago he was stuck in a horrible job working for a manipulative boss with nothing to live for. A few weeks ago, he was certain he would never see Rey again, that he had lost her forever. How wrong he had been. Things weren’t perfect, they never would be because people made mistakes, he understood that better than anyone. But what’s important is making it right again, apologising and forgiving when the time was right. There was still so much to talk about before they could move forward. 

“What do we do now?” Rey asked. 

Ben sighed, clapping his hands together and fiddling nervously. “I’m not sure, where do we go from here?” 

Rey took hold of his hands and raised them to her lips, kissing them gently. “I want to stay with you. Maybe not in our old apartment, somewhere new, where we can create new memories,” she suggested, her tone almost dreamy as she spoke.

Ben nodded, “I’d like that, a place that’s ours. Maybe a house?” 

“With a porch and a garden? It sounds perfect.” 

He knew that Rey had always dreamed of a house. A place they could call their own and one day raise a family, grow old together. After such a traumatic childhood without having a place to call home or a family to love, Ben knew that Rey had dreamt of it for so long. He felt honoured to be the one to build that home with her. 

Reaching out, he pulled the ring from where she had the chain tucked into the swimsuit, “And what about this?” he asked hesitantly. 

Rey held it in the palm of her hand and looked down at it thoughtfully. “Soon. For now, it’s safe and one day, it will be back where it belongs on my hand,” she explained. 

It made sense. If he could he would marry Rey as soon as possible. But it would take time. Nine months ago, they had ended their engagement in anger and rage. They needed time to rebuild the trust between them before they could promise to spend the rest of their lives together (again). “It won’t be long, I promise you.” Rey assured him, “I just need time to process all of this.” she tucked the ring back into her swimsuit and laced their fingers together, Ben was glad that it was beginning to feel familiar again. 

“I understand, take as long as you need. I still can’t believe we are finally together again.” 

“I know, it doesn’t feel real. I feel like this is all a dream that is going to be ripped away when I’m not looking.” Rey admitted, a frown appearing across her face. 

Ben cupped her cheeks with his hands, “I promise you, it is not a dream. I’m here and I am not going  _ anywhere _ . I told you we aren’t going to mess this up again, I won’t let you walk away again.” 

Rey’s eyes shone with tears and a small sob escaped her. She reached out and wiped away the tears that ran down his own cheeks. “No more tears,” she said.

Ben chuckled, “That’s rich coming from you.” he said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “But I agree, no more tears.” 

Leaning forward, he pressed a gentle kiss to her lips which she happily returned, hands weaving through his hair as he held her close. As her lips caressed his own, Ben decided, it was finally the beginning of their next chapter together. And now, it was time for the angst and heartbreak to end. 

-☀️-

They lay side by side on what Rey hoped was now their bed in the quiet villa. Both of them were still dressed in the swimsuits from being down by the pool, neither had moved to get changed. Lying in each other’s arms, they drew lazy circles on their skin, simply relishing in the feeling of being together. 

Rey’s head rested on Ben’s chest as she listened to the steady beat of his heart, the rhythm calming her. His bare chest was comforting, she had always admired his sculpted abs and appreciated how much he worked out. Her lips brushed against his skin and she pressed a gentle kiss that made Ben shudder slightly. She looked up at him, “Was that okay?”

He nodded, “Yes, yes it was.” 

Leaning closer, Rey kissed him gently. Ben tugged her closer so Rey straddled his legs and she felt a rush of adrenaline ignite within her as the kiss deepened and their tongues danced together. They sat up, Rey perched in Ben’s lap as he ran his hands along her back, caressing her body until he reached her arse. Smiling into the kiss, Rey pushed her hips forward and they brushed against the telltale sign of his arousal. Ben grounded into the kiss, hands moving to the straps of her bikini. 

Pulling away from the kiss, he looked into her eyes for permission which she eagerly granted. Ben unclipped the back of the small fabric, hands caressing the skin of her arms as they trailed up to hook into the straps before pulling the garment away completely. Ever the gentlemen, Ben folded it neatly and placed it on the bedside table. Rey chuckled slightly, before kissing him again, a warm feeling blooming in her chest. The chain with the ring remained around her neck, she didn’t see a point in taking it off now.

Ben rolled them so she was lying on her back as he hovered over her, his lips trailing along her jaw and down her neck, nipping gently at her shoulder. Rey shuddered, her hands moving to curl into his hair as he moved further down her body, kissing along her skin as she released shaking breaths. His lips trailed over her breasts, his tongue flicking out to brush against her nipples, just how she liked it. She released a breathless moan and he wrapped his lips around it, sucking gently as his hand moved to caress and pinch the other. 

“Ben,” Rey breathed, arching her back. God, how she’d missed this, how she’d missed him. His lips continued to travel down her body, brushing against her navel and venturing further until they reached the clasp of the shorts she wore over her bikini bottoms. Looking up at her, he asked, “Can I?’

Rey nodded, “Yes, yes. Do you want this?” she asked nervously, feeling like it was their first time all over again. 

Ben smiled at her and nodded, “Yes, I really do.”

She mirrored his smile and sat up, pulling him in for a sweet kiss, whispering against his lips, “I do too.” 

Laying back down again, Rey watched as Ben undid the clasp of her shorts. Pulling them down along with her bikini bottoms, he folded them and placed them to the side before pressing a kiss to her ankle. Rey felt her heart pounding in her chest as he took his own sweet time trailing his lips up her leg, pressing a kiss to the inside of her knee being gentle as he moved. Slowly, he moved along her thigh, closer and closer to her aching heat as Rey felt her breath hitch. 

He pressed a kiss to her clit and her back arched once again, a moan escaping her. Her fingers or vibrator really were a poor substitute when compared to him. His tongue swiped across her entrance, resulting in Rey grasping at the sheets beneath her. “Fuck… Ben!” she moaned as he ate her out. It was so much better than she remembered, she could already feel herself rising to completion, her orgasm tantalisingly close. No. Not yet though. She pulled her hips away from Ben, cupping his cheeks as he looked at her, confused. “Is something wrong?” 

Rey shook her head, “Nothing’s wrong, but I want this to be with you.” she explained, her hand brushing against his dick that was tenting through his swimming trunks. Ben shuddered at the contact and she slowly pulled the shorts down his hips. He immediately kicked them away, watching as Rey took him in hand and slowly began to move up and down, ever so gently. 

Pushing her back onto the bed, Ben took hold of Rey’s hands, lacing their fingers together as he hovered over her. Tilting her face to him, she kissed him as he nudged at her entrance before gently pushing into her. “Oh, my god,” Rey whispered, widening her legs as she felt the pleasant stretch of finally being filled by him again. 

“Fuck,” Ben breathed, his forehead resting against her own as he looked into her eyes and pushed deeper into her. Rey’s legs wrapped around his hips, holding him closer to her as they breathed a sigh of relief when Ben was buried to the hilt. Finding her lips again, Ben pulled back before pressing home, and again, and again, moving in a steady rhythm as Rey felt herself unravel at his touch. 

“I love you,” Ben whispered against her lips.

“I know.”

The sound of their bodies moving against the sheets and heavy breaths filled the room as they made love. Hands held on as lips moved together and hearts beat furiously. Reaching between their bodies, Ben’s fingers found Rey’s clit and she jolted at the contact. 

“Shit, Ben,” she cursed as he swiped over it, drawing circles around it as Rey raised her hips to his, meeting each of his thrusts. 

Their noses brushed against each other and Rey felt Ben’s desperate breaths against her cheek as he pushed deep inside and halted. With a moan, they felt themselves becoming undone, Ben massaging her clit as she rocked through her orgasm and he spilt into her. 

When they came down from their shared high, Ben collapsed against her, both of them gasping for breath. Ben rested his head on her chest as she ran her fingers through his hair, soothing him as they slowly recovered. She pressed a kiss to his slightly sweaty forehead as she felt his fingers brush against the ring still resting on her chest. 

Once they had caught their breaths, Ben pulled up the bed sheet, draping it over their trembling bodies as they held each other close. 

Closing their eyes, they drifted into a peaceful slumber, finally together again as they fell asleep to the steady sound of each other’s hearts. 

-☀️-

“Shut up, Poe!” Rose whispered as her, Finn and Poe stumbled up the stairs to the top floor of the villa. It was the very early hours of the morning and Rey and Ben’s friends had decided that it would be a good idea to “check” on them. 

“I take full credit for all of this.” Poe whispered, a mischievous grin across his face. 

Rose rolled her eyes, “Oh shut up Poe.”

“Do you really think they are back together?” Finn asked.

“I hope so,” Rose answered, “they deserve to be happy again.”

When they reached the bedroom door, Rose slowly opened the door and three heads peeked inside. 

“Ha! I knew it!” Poe whispered. 

“About time.” Finn mumbled.

“Oh I’m so happy for them!” said Rose in a hushed tone with a bright smile across her face. 

As the morning sun poured into the room, Rey and Ben lay in a heartfelt embrace, sleeping soundly as an engagement ring twinkled in the light, resting upon Rey’s finger. 

**_The End_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they all lived happily ever after... (yay!) 
> 
> Thank you for taking to time to read this fic, please consider leaving comments and kudos if you enjoyed it ❤️


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